29th October

New role-play for today. The Post Office. K told me there was a DHL on Avenida Colón which is a big smelly road that terminates at the end of my street. Found it, went in, showed all the bits I wanted to send home to the lady behind the counter. We both laughed at a present I had bought my mum (sorry, Mum, no clues here, you will have to wait). Neither of us were laughing when she weighed the items and told me the shipping price to Bham. $207. She leant forward across the counter and said the magic words "It is much cheaper if you just go to the normal post office, and it is secure too". This contradicts the Rough Guide but seeing as it also said Quito was a fun and happening place I took the chance.

Went to the main post office, a short walk down Colón on the corner of Reina Victoria. The grumpy old moo behind this counter did give me a free box and tape to wrap it up and then growled the instructions on what to complete form-wise. The cost came to a more appealing $41 and should hopefully arrive in 20 days.

I have also found the hotel I am due to join the Galápagos tour from - it is well plush. I walked past it twice thinking I could never afford to stay there!

For once I am writing the blog as it happens as shortly I need to go and pick up the revived washing, buy some travel sickness pills for the boat, a towel and some roses for Maria. Then comes the joy of pacing my cases and moving out. This time tomorrow I will be in the Galapágos islands. From now on I will be touring rather than having a permanent base which has formed the basis for the first half of the trip so the updates will be less regular.

***Addendum
Was late for the welcome meeting. Met the lot on the tour. Some pretty old but look reasonably in shape. Checked into the room in the hotel. HOT shower, HOT shave! Had dinner with the new gang - Sharon (divorcee), Ian and Jackie (retired), Krys, Suneel and Jaz (young testers from Accenture). All of the above are from Canada. One yank on tour. Doing well. Had an enormous sandwich of steak, egg, cheese, ham and bacon. I am rooming with Krys who is a slightly louder version of Bob but looks decidedly like Roland Browning. He also informed me he snores like a mule.

28th October - Adiós

EIGHTEEN POUNDS of washing I have to drop off at the launderette, ranging from the stinky to the terminally dead. Still only comes to $5 though.

Rosa now has her appeal forms. Jesus, they are complicated. You need to be a solicitor to understand the finer details! She is going to have an Ecuadorian ex-pat represent her in London later in the month so I suggested that he was a better candidate to fill the forms in. I also took a look at the summary of why Rosa didn't get her visa in the first place. Not quite how she portrayed it to me. A combination of my lack of understanding and probably a bit of shame on her part.... one of the reasons she didn't get it is because at interview "she failed to give one single fact (in Spanish or English) about the school she was planning to study in".

We both went to La Mariscal. I needed to print some tour vouchers and Rosa wanted some air. Met K in the locutorio and we went to a "chocolate cafe". I had hot choc (sent the first one back, the milk was more sour than my old Geography teacher) and ice cream. K had a chocolate pizza and Rosita a cappuccino. I did the triangular translation thing again. I am getting quite good at it, maybe I should have worked for the Foreign Office? I also know a bit about visas now. Said bye to K. Sorry to see her go, she was great company and very sympathetic during the sickness bouts.

Rosa was really sweet on the way home. You'll have to use http://www.babelfish.com/ to translate this as it was all in Spanish and sounds so much better in the native language....

S: "Rosita, ¿qué quieres hacer después del café? Es tu ultimo día en Quito. ¡No, es MI ultimo día en Quito!"
R: "Si, pero, es mi ultimo día contigo"

At this point even I had to hold back the emotions. She then gave me a present which was a little flag to sew onto my rucksack and a lucky charm with my name on. God, I hope she gets this visa.

Maria drove us to the bus terminal to drop Rosa off. She is off to Piñas again and as you probably have worked out from the above, potentially, the last time I will see her. Hate goodbyes. Reminded me of every wave, every hug, every kiss from every ex-girlfriend over the years.

Still the experience wasn't without humour. Rosa left the ticket office the wrong way and ended up in some sorting depot. Kind of made the whole thing a bit more palatable. She tells me she's going to write each day. I will look forward to that, even if I can't reply.

Maria narrowly missed driving into a tunnel the wrong way on the way back but other than that i went to bed early.

26th - 27th October - Otavalo

Few chores to sort out this morning.

• Pay the little minx in Ordex another $30 to stay 2 more nights in the lovely Quito before I scoot to the Galápagos;
• Take out more money (Gav, why do you have to pay a local charge for every bloody tour??);
• Buy provisions for the trip to Otavalo.

Visited the Old Town again, not because it is beautiful but because if you remember my photos corrupted 2 weeks ago. It was a much nicer day. Blue sky, little cloud. Dragged Rosa with me. She was in a foul mood and wants to leave Ecuador more than anything. She is desperate for this visa and is now appealing to the British Embassy. She also wants me to come to Piñas but I keep explaining I can't because of all the tours I have booked. It's good to see "women don't take no for an answer" the world over. I think I replaced all snaps so so long as the camera holds up we should be back on track.

Met K at the Trole stop off to Terminal Terrestre. No dramas from last week and we arrived intact with all monies to hand. The trip was fairly painless. 3 hours, $2.

Otavalo wasn't as picturesque as I had imagined. It is just another small South American town laid out in blocks.

We found our hostel. Chasqui. They didn't have our internet booking on record but the lady owner was from Ireland so we had little problem negotiating a room. In fact, we were the only residents.

We unpacked and ate crisps and sandwiches on the bed like every other married couple! I showed K the delights of "Dame chocolate" and then we went for dinner. Neither of us had the energy to go out after so we went back to the hostel ready for an early start. Met Jess and friend in the hostel. They were about to go out and suggested we met for the animal market at 7.45. Hmm.

We didn't make 7.45, mainly due to hilarious attempts at trying to get hot water from the shower. It had 4 settings,

1. Off (which wasn't that easy to attain)
2. On and cold
3. On and very cold
4. On and hotter than the sun.

For those not in the know Otavalo has the largest and most colourful artisan market in South America. We did make the animal market at 7.45 but we did get there before it close. I have video footage of pigs, piglets, cows, sheep and goats and their owners past and present. Pity the camera couldn't catch the smell.

The main market sold everything, blankets, hammocks, alpaca fur, food, drink, bags, clothes you name it. I bought a present for Justin (my sister chap) and myself. K and I had our bartering skills nailed by the end of it and got up to 30% discount off most of them. I wish my rucksack was bigger to buy more!

Met up with Jess and friend in the afternoon and sat on the balcony looking out over Otavalo. Very hot and sunny. We got back to Quito around 7. Journey was horrible with lots of people standing and falling into the laps of the seated passengers.

25th October

Better today all those who showed concern.

So were off to Otavalo! Otavalo has the largest and most diverse market on the continent and every Saturday they will trade anything and everything. Clothes, souvenirs, animals, cars and probably women too. Actually, someone told me it has the highest population of male prostitutes in South America. Not rent-boys but solely for the "pleasure" of female tourists looking for some latino action.

We leave Friday at 3pm. Babs is off to the jungle for 4 days and tomorrow will be the last I will see of her. God only knows what will happen to her there if she can't catch a bus without trauma.

There has been some odd military action here today. Lots of helicopters flying in formation and jets screaming overhead. Have read the papers but no info there.

Spent one hour of my 4 months in a bloody hairdressers talking to K who was having her hair bleached. $50 it cost her. I am off to the barbers tomorrow for a $1 cut. Aiiii.

Exchanged my Stephen King for "Coma". Do you think I could remember the name of the author! I remember it was the name of a dead politician but it took 3 goes...

"Do you have "Coma" by John Smith?"
"Do you have "Coma" by James Callaghan?" (he is dead, isn't he?)

...and then I remembered. Robin Cook.

Went back to the flat and went to the locutorio with Rosa to get more useless information about the school she is trying to go to in London. We are going to the old town tomorrow to retake the photos that were corrupted and then we'll be off to Otavalo.

24th October

Woke up and nearly spewed. The last time I go to the Coffee Tree.

I couldn't get up all day and have so much to do before next week (off to Otavalo at the weekend). Still my 2 surrogate mothers (Rosa and Maria) were fussing around me most of the day. They were feeding me all sorts of herbal tea and arguing about what the best treatment should be.

23rd October - Rosa's return

A familiar face at breakfast this morning. Yes, Rosa is back in town and must have arrived late last night. And today is her second attempt at securing a visa for England. She was mega-stressed at breakfast but certainly looked the part as she left the flat.

Had an instantly forgetable morning (but with more success at the bank) and a rubbish lunch by myself in a restaurant called "the coffee tree". It is part-owned by the same people who own Finn McCool's. ie overpriced and overrated. (you can't be done for libel on a blog, can you?)

Went to football for 2.30. ANOTHER BLOODY NO SHOW BY THE TRAINERS! Still there was another wicked storm to take photos of. The football is quite honestly a waste of time. Had so much hope before the trip but it is poorly organised and the "poor kids" have better sports equipment than Solihull School and I feel embarrassed turning up in my moth-eaten trainers whil ethey have brand new boots, shirts etc.

Went to Papayanet to check emails and had 2 very strong Cuba-libres on happy hour. Didn't affect my Scrabbulous prowess as I managed another 8 letter (89 pointer) vs Mamá.

The return to the flat wasn't great. Rosa didn't get the visa and spent the first 30 mins blubbling on my shoulder. This time it was due to lack of funds from her brother in the USA and they needed more info re the school in England - despite the fact I printed off all the info I could find for her 2 weeks ago. She is now appealing to Immigration in the UK.

Didn't make it to the quiz night, didn't feel right leaving Rosa in the flat and I couldn't take her with me as she STILL doesn't know ANY english. Talked until about 11 and then turned in for the night.

22nd October

Booked flights from Lima to La Paz (22nd Nov) and Santiago to Mexico City (15th Dec). Came to a mere ONE THOUSAND DOLLARS. Grrrr. And all because my central America trip was canned. Mental note to self, only book guaranteed tours in future.

Had lunch with K in the Maple Tree as it was chucking it down outside. We talked about our joint need to purchase underwear and an hour later we were in a very modern shopping centre will Calvin Klein, Tommy H, Armani etc. Puts Touchwood to shame. 6 pairs of pants, 2 pairs of socks and a t-shirt for 20 quid.

Had a bit of a mare as I twice typed the number of my royal mail card incorrectly and decided to leave it until tomorrow to try again. Also my virginone card doesn't work in the hole in the wall which isn't ideal.

And that is pretty much it for today. This time next week I should be in the Galápagos. 0 metres above sea level and hopefully less crime.

19th - 21st October - Baños

What a great weekend. We (Babs, Katrina and I) went to Baños - a spa town south-east of Quito in the "Southern sierra". If you get chance to visit, it is superb....

Friday:

Spoke to Jase in the morning to wish him happy birthday. Jammy git got a playstation 3 off Hannah. Odd to hear friends voice after 8 weeks (Gavin, you don't count. Joke!). Met Babs back at the gaff after spending several dollars on some odd looking fruit for the trip. Packed my bags. Left fruit at home. No room. We went to Terminal Terrestre which is the Quito equivalent of Digbeth on the Trole (tram) . Lots of buses and little help from the staff. I'd like to say the check-in passed without incident but it transpires that Babs was pickpocketed on the tram. I don't see how, as her money was securely stowed away in a pocket without a zip/button or any other fastener. Hmm. It seems she is targeted for robbery, kind of like a "Teutonic Plague" *

After some tears and words of encouragement by yours truly we left Quito at about 4. $3.50 for a 4 hour trip. After about 10 mins we were in the country. The good thing about it pissing down all day is that the hills and fields are always lush. Had an array of local folk jumping on and flogging one of "water bottles, crisps with mayonnaise, empanadas, chewing gum". Scenery was amazing, especially when we finally passed the volcano Cotopaxi (the highest active volcano in the world).

We arrived in Baños after nearly tipping the coach in the pouring rain. Nice. Went to the recommended hostel but it was fully-booked so after a few more "Mary and Joseph" moments we finally found room at an inn. Babs plumped for the twin room (Katrina coming tomorrow) and I went for the en-suite, double, leave me alone room for $15. A little expensive but the bed was soft and the shower was hot.

Rang K in Quito and went for a meal. After the earlier stress I thought Babs would go straight for the beer but, as always, she went for the most sickly sweet offering on the menu - batido de piña (pineapple milkshake). I had pizza and beer and it was great. Went back to the hostel. And that was Friday.

* Dan, if you are reading this and groaning at that last quip it STILL beats "Subpoena colada".


Saturday:

So we are due to meet K at 12pm at the bus station in Baños. Baños is the adrenalin sport capital of Ecuador. It is a small village surrounded by huge cliffs and a big mutha of a volcano.

Have done canyoning (ok, now laughing at pregnant Dan photos), bungee jump, white and black-water rafting, parachute jumping so what next? We went for a bike ride. Actually, it was really good fun. $5 to hire a 21 gear bike all day complete with map and safety equipment. Bargain. We went on a tour of the "cascadas" (waterfalls). Slightly less impressive than Iguazú but still picture-worthy. It was hot and sunny and now quite brown. The trip was 22km to the final waterfall (which also included a 1km hike without bike). Took lots of snaps on the way. Babs was motoring down hill for most of it. Nagging feeling in the back of my head that the return trip would be uphill.

The return trip was uphill alright, nearly killed poor Babs. In fact, we had to go through a mountain tunnel the wrong way as we had no lights. Nearly killed both of us!

We were late getting back to meet K but we soon had her checked-in and we grabbed a quick lunch before the RWC final. England V South Africa. Rubbish game, another final without tries. South Africa won 15-6.

Babs met another German woman and that was pretty much all we saw of her for the rest of the weekend. K and I had a kip when we got back and then went for a dip in the spa pools before dinner. Christ, the first pool was like stepping into a pool of fire so we went for the pool that was "just right" and took the piss out of the guys in Speedos for about an hour. This pool was in an amazing location - right by a huge cliff and a waterfall. It was tempting to stay in there all night. K is great fun too.

We went to a restaurant called Casa Hood which was bloody nice and cheap. We both had Mexican food and got chatting to some Danish doctors.

Went to a cocktail bar and had a hilarious Mojito which looked like it had spinach in it instead of mint. Still at a quid a pop I wasn't complaining. The bar played all the classics from the wedding season 2007. Without the air-guitaring. Babs and new friend turned up later and went to an Irish bar. No more Irish bars in Ecuador for K and I.

Sunday:

Had a dead cheap breakfast. Hot choc, juice, bread and jam and an omelette for 50p. The morning nearly turned into a shopping trip with K but I said the magic words "Fancy going horse-riding?". $12.50 per person gets you a 2 hour trek with a guide - pretty good. My horse looked very under-nourished and a mere shadow of the mighty beasts in the Estancia in Buenos Aires.

The only problem with a light horse is that the bloody thing is built for speed and this one was no exception. K had advised me to "tuck your bum under your balls when it starts to canter". Well, after 5 mins my balls were somewhere up by my throat. We went up and up the hillside and eventually to the foot of the volcano which was grumbling in the background. Took samples of fused lava and photos of our guide "Brian", the horses and waterfalls.

2 hours passed quite quickly although "the gallop" which lasted about 5 seconds seemed like a lifetime but all good fun and got the blood pumping. If only Jackie could see me!!

Booked on the 3pm bus back to Quito and the journey home passed without excitement. The price was cheaper and the seats more comfortable. Babs and her new friends went home separately. We were the only Gringos on the bus which was packed with Latinos/Latinas and a kitten that was so small it fitted into the palm of your hand.

All in all a very enjoyable and relaxing weekend and great company with K. We should be off to Otavalo next weekend to the markets.

18th October

Today is the day for admin. My Central America trip from 23rd Nov has been cancelled and it is now nearing the time I go to the Galápagos so it is now or never.

Have considered doing Central America on a shoestring but it is a nightmare with flights if you are not part of an official tour. Considered going to Columbia and Venezuela but the tours also incorporate a week in Ecuador but after the Galápagos Islands I want out of Ecuador and see another country.

I have plumped for 2 trips:

• 23rd Nov - 14th Dec Bolivia/Patagonia/Chile
• 14th Dec - 29th Dec a full tour of México - all the places I haven't been.

Should be in Mérida (Yucután) for Xmas!

Football was cold but thankfully only wet for the last 30 mins. The big and medium-sized kids were playing a match so I looked after the niños and tried to explain the need for passing and not all running around after the ball at the same time. They have far too much energy at 3000M. Lots of parents in the stand which was good to see.

Journey back was minging - took 2 hours to get back to Maria's and was met with soup and curry. Is this the start of better meals?

Went to pub to see of Dan and Tom before they go to NZ. They weren't actually there when we arrived so I tried to explain darts to Babs in a mixture of English, German and Spanish. "Ein Hundert achtzig!!" doesn't really have the same ring to it. When the lads arrived we had a great night. Met a spanish chica at the bar who was a teacher but decided not to turn on the charm as she looked a bit masculine. And let's face it, in South America, if there is any doubt....

The lads went clubbing at 12 but I decided not to go because;

1. I had to get up early to phone Gavin to confirm tours;
2. I promised to escort Babs back to the house;
3. I am 35 and the idea of putting hot needles into my eyes is more appealing than going to a club to "dance" to techno and drum & bass.

Off to Baños tomorrow. Adrenaline sport capital of Ecuador.

17th October - football, football, football

Met with Katrina for breakfast. Well, she had 2 huge pancakes (yes, I have a photo of these too). I resisted the temptation as Maria's "Croissante con jamón" was resting heavily. Went to boozer to watch Russia v England in the Euro qualifiers. Great goal from Rooney after 30 mins. Power went on 35 mins (landlady hadn't paid the bill). Played pool and darts in the interim and when the power came back....STILL 1-0 to England. 15 mins later the Russians had sown the game up 2-1. England now odds on bet not to qualify.

First proper day on the football training. Tom and Dan cited hangovers as there reason for not going. Lots of kids in Zambiza. All shapes, all sizes. One niño was so small his bib went below his knees (check photo out on the right). I was impressed but not surprised by the natural talent of the kids. Not sure how they will adapt to next week's lessons ("the long ball" and "the two-footed challenge"). P'd down but all part of the fun. Desperately need to find football vocab in spanish.

Got back to the ranch, had dinner, listened to Maria moan about how the cousins never turn up for dinner. She KEEPS saying "I bet you weren't like that when you were 18". Hmmm. Mum?

16th October - La Hora Latina

Smile back on my face.....

Finally got round to the football coaching. Went with Tom and Dan (the cousins) to Zambiza for 2.30 for a pre-meet with the trainers. Zambiza is a small village to the north of Quito. We passed some very poor areas on the bus. Wouldn't look out of place in Sao Paolo. The football facility on the other hand would embarrass the groundstaff at Manchester University for sure. We watched an amazing electrical storm in Quito heading our way. Will hopefully have the photos for you shortly.

We waited an hour and a half but the trainers didn't show. They call this "La hora latina", I call it apathy. But still at least when I go back tomorrow I know where the ground is.

It's Tuesday night and that can mean only one thing....quiz night. We had a better team this week without Tim and managed to come third. Finn McCools is a good pub, but in small doses.

15th October *** PLEASE READ CAVEAT BELOW***

BE WARNED - Today has been the worst day in six weeks. If you don't want to share my depression please read no further. For all those into Schadenfreude - enjoy!

Today will be remembered as one of those days where NOTHING goes to plan and there seems to be a permanent cloud above your head.

Started well, I went into town with Babs, Tim is in Guayaquil so the conversation was appropriate for once. Had a coffee in the sun, helped an Israeli couple find the bus-stop to Mitad Del Mundo and all was well. Time to go to the one museum in Quito I wanted to visit.

• Museum closed for refurbishments for 2 weeks. I leave in 2 weeks.
• Went to take money out of hole-in-the-wall. Card declined.
• Had lunch in Magic Bean. Bit dubious about returning as I went there a week or so ago and had the "Magic Chicken Sandwich" which failed to live up to its name apart from its unique ability to turn solid into liquid in 3 hours (you work it out). Had another sandwich which was ok, but waiter short-changed me and implied because I paid with a twenty he had no change. He said I could wait 30 mins for his boss to come back. Hmm.
• Went to find cafe that does book exchanges, looked in Lonely Planet guide. Walked the entire length of the street - cafe doesn't exist.
• Went back to house for a siesta and to forget about the morning. Bed stripped bare. I mean down to the planks I sleep on each night. Rosa's replacement was due to remake the bed, but she is rubbish. Went to sit in freezing lounge.
• Watched some telly for about 5 mins before Maria's bible group arrived and sang about how great it was to be a catholic in Quito.
• Bed remade now so I could lie down and listen to music. My iPod, which has been on its last legs for about a month, finally packed up on me and now nothing is accessible. Not even the time. I am now without music for 10 weeks. Still at least I have my photos to amuse me...
• The entire set of photos from the last 2 weeks are corrupt and inaccessible on my memory card. Every time I deleted a corrupt image it deleted a valid image. Still at least I have my mobile...
• It is 12am in England and I have no one to phone and I keep getting bloody SPAM txted to me at about a quid per message.

Dinner was quite nice and didn't include rice. Had a good conversation with Maria so keeping up the conversational Spanish despite not being in school. She kept saying she was fat. I was biting my tongue not to reply - "Well, it ain't from your cooking, love"

I have 2 weeks left here but already getting bored. Still, haven't started the football yet, that starts tomorrow, be good to get some fresh air. Will be back to normal tomorrow, promise.

14th October

Went for second run in Quito. Not quite as bad as last time although I didn't go as far and limited myself to the flat rather than the mountainous terrain of last Sunday. The good thing about running in sunny Quito is that when you come back and shower you don't actually care if the shower is cold or not. Went to meet Kate and Katrina (from the school) up the road from where I live. Strange place to get a bus, quite an innocuous little street...until 3 transsexual prostitutes walked passed me much to the excitement of a security guard sitting outside a florist.
Got the bus to Mitad Del Mundo (middle of the earth - or the equator to you and I). Bus took 40 mins and cost 40 cents. Bargain. Great views of the hills and great to be out of the city for a day.
The large equator statue is actually 150 metres out of place. But seeing as I am only coming to Quito once we had to go to the actual museum which is smaller and more interesting. Forced the girls to take a guided tour in Spanish as a bit of revision. Very interesting although the experiments they do on the equator line itself are a bit cheesy although my GCSE physics was letting me down as most of the "tricks" seemed pukka. Where is Dan when I need him, the voice of reason. Once experiment implied you are stronger either side of the equator but on the actual line itself you are weaker. The female guide tried to pull your arms down in the southern hemisphere and couldn't, but on the line she said she could do so with ease (despite the fact she nearly jumped on top of my arms to prove it). Hmmmmm.

Did the obligatory straddle of the equator so I now have a photo of me straddling 0 degrees latitude (Greenwich) and 0 degrees longitude (Ecuador). We had to skip the rest of the tour due to hunger.

Bus back left the road on several occasions but at 40 cents again I wasn't complaining. The 3 of us had a nice lunch in town (The Maple Leaf) with salad, nachos, cake and coffee for a fiver.

Got back to the house. I had forgotten it was Tim's last day until I saw him on the corner of our road. He had lost his voice. WHAT A RESULT! Did the charitable thing and took him to a chemist for some throat sweets. Chemists are a bit different in South America. They gave him anti-biotics and top strength pain killers. I had to beg, borrow and was on the point of stealing to get anti-biotics from my GP in London. He left for Guayaquil at 10 and the Germans have gone too so there are just 4 of us left in the house.

Struggled through a very tired soup Maria had prepared and rewrote Babs's homework for her.

13th October

Early start - England v Estonia. Watched it on streamed BBC which was a bit of a novelty as I haven't seen any British TV for 6 weeks. England won 3-0 again. Don't reckon the score will be the same in Moscow on Wednesday.

Turned into a bit of a sport-fest today with the England v France rugby as well. Looked like a punishing game for both sides but Johnnie Wilkinson, the saviour of English rugby, scored a penalty and drop-goal in the last 5 mins to see them through. For once England scored more tries (one) than the opposition. Good atmosphere in the bar, despite there being a smelly KIwi who was moaning about how NZ are STILL the best side in the world. Shame they had a full 80 mins to prove it against France. Chatted to an English couple from the school who are now sadly on their travels elsewhere.

Had migraine (still reckon I haven't acclimatised) and did little else for the rest of the day. Babs was enthusing about Otovalo and looks like the weather was better there as she is now bright red.

12th October

Dead quiet in town today as they celebrate the independence of Guayaquil from Spain. Only 3 turned up to the last class. Tim only got back at 7 so he was one of the missing. Last class was a bit surreal when Jimena started playing me Ecuadorian love songs so I could pick out the imperfect subjunctive in the lyrics.

We also made ceviche con pollo which is a bit like cold chicken soup with raw veg. It was actually quite nice but the serving of popcorn and green bananas was a bit random.

I finally know what Babs must go through each day as I had dinner with FIVE germans. Not Maria's best. Had a piece of beef that wouldn't look out of place on the inside of my boots and cold mash.

Went out on the lash with the kids and stuck it out until 3. Cuba Libres were pretty much "Coke Libre", ie neat rum. Nearly had a fight with Tim on the dancefloor - he was hammered and dancing with a pint-sized prostitute and his flailing arms kept making contact with the people around him. Bloody kids. Met a few new travellers. All good.

11th October - Independence Day, Guayaquil

Flippin cold this morning, just occurred to me I have shaved in cold water every day for 6 weeks, even the Dirty Dozen din't have to put up with that.

Suffered the usual repartee with Tim telling us about his night before and how many beers he drank. Tim, 22 going on 15. Wish he would brush his brown teeth once in a while.

Was on fire in class. Had Jimena crying at one point with my slant on the chicas in Quito. Got absolutely drenched in the mother of all storms but my new trek pants are so good they were dry within a few hours.

Got back to the flat. Rosa didn't get the visa and was crying. Ah. She isn't coming to the UK. Well, not for 10 days at any rate. She was talking so fast as was Maria and I didn't have a clue what the problem was. She is going back to the embassy in a week or so but has to return to her home in Piñas anyway. Emotional farewell. We are only on email contact now. :-(

Went to lavenderia to pick up washing - relived the great feeling from Dalton Ellis when you unpacked a bag full of sweet-smelling pants you know several hours before could quite easily have walked themselves to the washer.

Dinner was quite nice for one - home-made hamburgers. After meal met 2 honeys (both called Kati) from Germany. Babs was happy as she sould speak the language of the Vaterland. We chatted for a while ... that was Thursday.

10th October

Had an amusing, albeit cruel, start to the day. Babs was talking to me about the dogs she used to have in Germany.

B: "Ven I vos in Germany ve had 2 dogs and they were very big and very strong and I used to like making walk wiz zem."

S: "Sorry?"

B: "How you say 'make walks' in English?"

S: "Ah, yes. We say 'go dogging'"

B: "Yes, I used to go dogging every morning before class"

School was a real struggle, couldn't remember anything, but Jimena and I went to an Amazonian museum which was excellent. All in Spanish but was quite easy to understand. Tim was with his teacher too. She spoke pretty complicated spanish to which Tim always replied "Si, si".

Went to a mexican restaurant and had chimichanga and ordered a drink I saw a bloke in the corner supping. It was pretty much fire in a pint glass. Beer, salt, tequila and 2 crushed chillis. Can't wait for tomorrow.

Filled in ANOTHER visa with Rosa. Jesus, she is untidy. She was in a foul mood so I left her to it.

9th October

Well, I'd like to say the weather is getting better but it started raining at 6pm last night and it is still raining now (230 pm). Couldn't get a cab this morning for love nor money and walked 40 mins in a storm to get to school. Saturated by the time I arrived. Spent 4 hours explaining complicated girlfriend scenarios with Jimena with steam rising from my crotch, and not in a good way.

Off out tonight. First time since Friday. I didn't go out that much in BA but there was always something going on (probably as we ate much later) but in Quito if you don't go out there is little to do in the flat.

We came about 6th this week but lots more teams and the questions were solid in one of the rounds. Took great delight in beating the kids (Tom, Dan, Pete and a few others who were bigging up their combined knowledge). Kind of a double-edged sword as most of their answers seemed to be "well, I wasn't born then". They had 8 in their team, we had 4. One was Babs who speaks little English and the other was Tim who speaks English but to be honest we would have done better without him. It pains me that while I went to the bar my team singularly failed to know who the first president of the USA was. Had a good night nonetheless

8th October

It's decision time again... do I go to the laundrette or buy more clothes?

Bought 3 T-shirts, one shirt and a pair of trousers - all for 50 quid and when you think the shirt and trousers are North Face it is pretty good value.

Rained again in the afternoon - thats 6 days on the trot. Very boring evening, I have no book since BA and the only TV in Ecuador is soap operas (honestly, all channels, back to back). I try to read the papers but even once translated most of the articles are so depressing and anti-government you may as well read the Daily Mail. Rosa disn't make it to embassy as some letter didn't come from the States which she needs, at least I think that is what she said....why did the people of Babel have to build the bloody tower in the first place. Grrrr.

7th October

The kids got in at 3 and was very quiet in the flat. Decided to go for a run. It was always going to be hit or miss. Would 8 months BMF pay off despite having done NO exercise for 6 weeks and dined solely on red meat for a month?...

... no, it didn't pay off. After 5 mins I was out of breath and after 10 was nearly at the point of coughing blood (only joking, Mum). Still felt better after 20 mins and for once the shower worked and all was well by breakfast.

We (Tim, Babs and I) went up the huge mountain overlooking Quito via a cable car (TeleferiQo). Queues were rubbish but if we'd gone earlier it would have been too cloudy. Took some photos but not sure the camera will capture the enormity of the city. Went walking further up the mountain. The terrain is very much like North Wales just a hell of a lot higher and without much oxygen, still is good practice for Machu Picchu.

Went to the boozer for lunch and to watch the Arg v Sco game. Caught the end of the River v Boca game. The Boca fans were ripping up the stadium by the end of the game (2-0).

The Argies won the game which means they have beaten Ire/Fra/Sco this world cup. Up los Pumas! South Africa for the next. Bad news elsewhere. Babs was mugged in the street adjacent to our bar. The problem is all the shops are closed on a Sunday and Quito is pretty much a ghost-town. They took her camera but like a true German she pursued them and they dropped it and then the police came. She suffered a cut finger and by 8 was back on the beer. Which is more than I did. I spent the evening with Rosa in an internet cafe trying to download the final docco for her visa. Had early night etc etc.

6th October

I don't get hangovers in South America. If only that were the case in London. Early start for Eng v Aus in the World Cup and the bar was rammed. Such a tense game and Eng nipped it at the end. Who would have thought Aus would be knocked out in the semis!

Gave Otavalo a miss in preference for the second game.

Blimey! Just watched the other game. New Zealand out too. Why do they always screw up in the WC but hump all other teams in any other competition. Where is Greg when I need him!

Rest of the day passed without incident and spent the night chatting with Rosa.

5th October

Tim rocked up at 3AM and so I had to stretch the GCSE German with Babs on the way to school. Lots of "Did you make your homework" and "At what o'clock will you meet wiz me". It is like a bad episode of 'Allo 'Allo but I feel for her not being able to speak the 2 most common languages in a country.

Had a cookery lesson in class - made a banana and cheese fritter and meant I was spared a lesson on "Más subjunctivo". We spent the afternoon in the Old Town of Quito on the Trole bus. Very pretty architecture but you did feel you were going to get stabbed if you turned into a quiet street. More rain so hopefully the photos will come out.

Managed to persuade Rosa to come out with us on the beers. Have to say she looked great. She'd been to the Brit Embassy and should be green light for her trip to England. Be great if we could meet up when I get back.

Went to a couple of bars and then the legendary Bungalow 6. I have been to some shit-holes in my time but this really takes the biscuit. Girls were being fireman-lifted out by rather dodgy looking blokes (really hope it was just beer-related) and the bouncers managed to push a bloke saturated in his vomit in my shirt (don't worry Dan, not the black one) and then when I went to wash it off in the toilet I slipped and nearly fell into the sick he had missed getting down his front. Also a fight broke out with a bouncer and a bloke in a suit. It is like being back in Jabez Clegg. Danced til 2 and got a cab back with Rosa and Babs - the rest of the night is private!


Did hear a funny story re Bungalow 6. There is this Danish guy in Quito who is friends with the cousins in the flat. He has been in Quito 3 days and has....

1) Had his credit card cloned by using a dodgy cash machine in town.
2) Been mugged by walking into the equivalent of Moss Side by himself at 2 am
3) ... and just when he thought his luck had changed he hooks up with a girl in Bungalow 6 and spends the rest of the weekend with her and 2 days later just before he goes to the airport she gives him a bill for services rendered!!!!

4th October

Had extra 1/2 hour lesson today due to being able to reclaim 2 of the 4 lost hours from yesterday. Meant I missed TNBD and Babs for lunch. Had a cheesy pasta dish in The Magic Bean and did my homework. Don't worry today's entry will get better than yesterday's...

Another beast of a storm but meant I got to chat with locals in a bar about, believe it or not, the weather.

Evening meal was just what you wanted with a delicate stomach. Pink chicken in a piquante chili sauce. Really in the lap of the Gods now.

Then had a very strange evening. Rosa, Maria's maid who lives with her, is off to London to learn English and asked me to help her fill in her visa in spanish and English. Really stretched the vocab but thankfully the GCSE skills shone through. Rosa is actually really nice despite the fact she speaks no English and I mean NO ENGLISH, Not even "hello, my name is". Took great delight in taking her through the verb "to be" and how we only have one verb in English and one word for "for" as well. By the end of 2 hours we had flirted in Spanish/English and I managed to get her to say "I am a hotty" in English. And things improved from there....

3rd October

Had relapse and didn't leave bed until 3pm. Grrrr. Went for stroll around town. Did very little else. Writing this in a blog seems well worth it. Mother of all storms brewed up in the afternoon.

Am beginning to think life in the flat is actually a stage play that I seem to be caught up in.

2nd October

12 hours sleep seems to have done the trick. Flew through the lessons and had lunch with our new flatmate Barbera who is from Hannover and speaks no Spanish and hardly any English so lunchtime conversations are a bit strained. Craig is doing my nut. He is just like "Tim Nice but Dim". I feel like a reluctant father with 2 dependents who won't have a go at speaking the language. We also only have one set of keys. Grrrr.

We tried to go to the Vivarium which is a snake exhibition but when we got there there were no snakes.

Got back and was given instruction on how to use the shower. Aha, so you can only have it trickling with water to get it hot.How silly of me not to realise.

Dinner was Milanesa and mash. This seems to be following me around SA. But the highlight of the meal was getting my own keys.

Had good night out at a welcome night for Ordex at a bar called Finn McCools. Karla was there as was her mate who is pretty amazing too. I destroyed the competition by knocking out a few preterite and subjunctives with the ladies while they languished in first gear. Had free beer and nachos and met lots of other Brits doing volunteer work. They all seem really good fun. We are now planning the nights out and weekends.

A VERY English pub quiz started at 830. Our team (all brits and not with TNBD) came third despite the fact we got the question - "How many countries in SA do NOT border Brazil" - wrong.

1st October

After another sleepless night on the plank and no hot water I am beginning to think a night in the cells would be a better option. I haven't had such a bad night's sleep since I passed out in the CEO's office after a night of karaoke in Cofunds.

Maria drove to the school. Oh my God, Maureen Rees from "Driving School" has nothing on this woman. School was very chilled it was actually a big house comverted into classrooms so there is a kitchen, shower etc.

New teacher is called Jimena as is very nice. The accent in Quito is so much clearer than in BA and we had quite a few fluid conversations about the weekends election results and where to go in Quito. All the lessons are one on one which is great and pretty chilled. She toasted me on the bloody subjunctive again but I think it is finally starting to stick.

Lunches here are good. Lots of cafes and restaurant and normally you can have a bite and drink for about 2-3 quid.

Had induction at 3 at Ordex the company that organises the football coaching. Meeting was with Karla. SHE IS SOOOOOOOOOO FIT. The football training will be about 50 mins from the centre and isn't quite what I signed up for but get this....

I can optionally play in the morning followed by coaching 25-35 yr old ladies around lunchtime and then the kids in the afternoon. Aiiiiii.

Crashed out when we got back ataround 630pm.