Saturday, January 5, 2008

2nd January - Last Day

So the last day of the trip has arrived. 4 months has gone really quickly, it only seems like yesterday I was struggling to get the hang of the subjunctive around the dinner table in Buenos Aires.

Another bad night's sleep meant an early start - first port of call was Radio Shack which is a bit like an upmarket Tandy's. I bought a case for my new iPod which I needed and an iKaraoke for the aforementioned, which I didn't. Still it's Christmas. Kind of.

Met Caroline, she went off to the MoMA and I scaled the Rockefeller Center (sic). Well, I took the express elevator which was also fun as they make the ceiling transparent so you can see the entire lift shaft. At the top it was cold, very cold. Must have been at least zero degrees. My finger nearly froze holding the memory card door shut. Took some pretentious black and white and sepia shots and then made my way to the nearest coffee shop which ironically was Pret-a-manger.

Had a very tasty and cheap meal in "Bread" between Moot and Elizabeth in Soho near Little Italy. Bread, olives, salad, lasagne, strawberry lemonade all for a tenner. Met up with Jase and Hannah at Battery Park as I'd hoped to take a photo of the Statue of Liberty but it was sadly still too far away for my 11x magnifying lens.

Bought my ticket for the bus to take me back to Newark Liberty Airport and I suppose it has finally sunk in I am going back to the UK. Caroline was off for a facial and to meet her friend so I waited the hour in her room before I had to scoot.

Bloody bus stop was nowhere near where the map said it was and the sub-zero temperatures not helping. Also the sign to "Form line here" was next to a sign that said "Airport Express line across street" but in the end a chap with a clipboard appeared and all was well.

The airport was pretty dull and even baggage check passed without incident. Had a huge pile of nachos and a vanilla milkshake for about £7. (Also it has just occurred to me that is the first time I have been able to use a pound sign for 4 months)

The flight was late leaving and we were still on the ground when my head slid forward and hit the seat in front walking me from a dream about iPod karaoke microphones. Passed on the gorgeous Continental Airlines food, had a Sprite and a water and went back to sleep and stayed like that until 40 mins before our descent into Gatwick.

London was cold but still warmer than NYC. I waited for the Chavs to get off the place first and then headed straight to Immigration. The toilets adjacent had piss on the floor and no paper hand towels - it's great to be back home.

Met the folks at the gate which was nice. They haven't changed a bit and look very well. We had a quick cup of tea and I attempted the abridged version of the last 4 months. Arrived at the flat ok, the car isn't covered in bird poo as I had expected so I will have to let Archie off that one. We had soup, cake and coffee and then they went back to Bham.

So that is that. The flat looks the same, albeit a lot cleaner. I have returned jobless and potless and the DVDs I ordered are still en route to the Midlands. This is the final entry for this blog so to those who have supported me over the last few months whether playing Scrabble, organising tours, checking on the flat, passing on mail, reading the blog, but most of all making the trip extra special for me in your own little way and so finally...

... a big thanks to family and friends, old and new.

Steve 2008

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

1st January - New Years Day

The head is banging. I have tried to get out of bed twice but rushed back for fear of vomitous. Finally made it at around mid-day. I have decided to have a "Steve day" today and chill on my own. With all the cafes and restaurants in the city I headed back to the tried and tested La Parisienne and had the same food as 2 days ago - bacon, cheese, burger, fries, milkshake and coffee. No cheese-cake though. Seems I wasn't the only one with that idea as 5 mins later Jase and Hannah and then Caroline turned up. Seems the "Steve day" isn't going to plan. After a very subdued meal we all went our separate ways. Jase and Hannah to bookshops, Caroline to the Rockefeller Centre and I headed for the Natural History Museum.

Despite the incredibly long seasonal queue the museum was well worth it. Amazing dinosaur exhibition and a great one on the history of the universe etc. Also paid a nostalgic visit to the history of the tribes in South America. Sigh.

Took in the winter sun and air in the park before heading back to the hotel. It was about 5pm. Had a latte to go from Starbucks and then sought the fluffy pillows of my hotel room. Got a txt from Caroline asking about take away for dinner and we met and strolled up to a Times Square. Fought off the temptation of another burger as we found a nice deli and ordered pizza to go.

Ate ham and cheese and peperoni on the bed watching Family Guy and Ladder 49. Fell asleep during the final stages of the latter (anyone know how it ends?). Tomorrow is my last day of 125 so an early start is planned.

31st December - New Years Eve

Surely today can't be as shopping oriented as yesterday? Wrong. Caroline was on a mission so we went to Sephora (Zzzz) and then the Nike shop. I bought shorts and socks for BMF (can't wait for Saturday - first time in 4 months am surely going to die on the Common). Caro bought a whole new wardrobe.

We then went on a wild goose chase to find "Eastern Mountain Sports" the only purveyors of North Face rucksack in the Tri-state area (or so it seemed). We walked for miles until we got back to Times Sq where people were already queueing for tonight. It was gridlock and very stressful. I took one woman out by mistake and Caro was her Parisienne best and leaving a path of battered shoppers and party-goers in her wake.

Hunger set in at about 1pm so we hopped on a tube (oops, "took the subway") to Chinatown. After a 15 min walk to find a restaurant that didn't have dead chickens hanging from the rafters we ended up in a Shanghai restaurant just off Broadway and Lafayette. We had pork balls, shrimp, beef, pak choi and tea. And it was mighty fine.

It turns out the sports shop was just around the corner and within 15 mins I had my new rucksack. Revisited Banana Republic to buy trousers for tonight and back in the hotel by 5pm.

Tonight is New Year's Eve and we are off to the Meat-packing district for dinner and festivities at Vento. We took the subway to 13th and 8th and had one drink in "Gaslight" - 4 beers = $24. Great. We then went into some posh winebar place (forget the name). Thankfully not my round so I went for pint of Brooklyn Lager - $11.

Ventos was a pretty cool restaurant with amazing women falling out of their new Xmas dresses. We had to spend a minimum of $90 but the menus were reasonably cheap and lots of choice. I went for clams, followed by pizza and then pork medallions with risotto. Shared a bottle of wine with Caroline. The food was really good, the company excellent and before long it was midnight - not celebrated NY during a meal before so I put fork down at 12, sang Auld Lang Syne, kissed a few girls, shook a few hands and then straight back to it. The only downside in a very enjoyable night was me breaking my camera - the door to the memory card now doesn't shut.

We foolishly left the restaurant at about 1ish and then strolled the streets of NYC to find a bar. We did find one very London pub and had cheaper beer. The gang wanted to leave at 2.30 but I am at the end of my holiday and a 2.30 finish on NYE wasn't going to be enough so in true travelling fashion I stayed by myself in the bar and befriended the table next to me. The ringleader of which was called Britney Smith and she was celebrating the New Year with her friends while her boyfriend and their 11 month old son were at home.

At about 4.45 I left the bar and took in the early morning air by walking the thirty or so blocks back to the hotel. There were lots of party-folk milling around and a lot of coppers so it wasn't likely I was going to be added to the annual murder stats in the city. I got in around 6 having taken a number of photos and marvelling at "The Garden" on the way back.

30th December

I have shopping list of sorts. My iPod broke and the Campers (or my "Pinocchio shoes" as my mother used to refer to them) were chucked in Quito (mmm, lovely place), my jeans are so bleached Jon Bon Jovi could wear them and as the rucksack is full I will need to buy another bag just to get my ever-increasing worldly possessions home.

Met up with Caroline and we had breakfast in the hotel. This was economical to say the least. Half a croissant, coffee and juice and not much more on offer. She was enthusing about her new job. I still have to find one.

We walked down 5th towards Central Park. First stop - Banana Republic. My mum and sister have been banging on about this place for years and I have to say I was pretty impressed. Got hassled to try on a load of stuff by some of the campest blokes in the world but did manage to acquire 2 pairs of jeans and a new black pulling-shirt. $200.

Next stop Apple - exactly the same set-up as in London and all geared around quick purchases for expensive products. iPod Classic, 80GB. $250. I have spent more money than I have in a month and it is 10.34am.

Met Jase in Apple. He had to go one better with the 160GB version of the man Pod. We then made more detours to Macy's and Sketchers where I bought the Camper replacement ($70).

Met up with Hannah, Dan and Jane at 1.30pm but as expected Dan and Jane had just eaten and we were starving. Went to a greasy spoon/diner on 7th by the park. Had Swiss cheese and bacon burger, fries, milk shake and coffee. Ooh, and cheese cake. Reconvened at 2.30 pm. The girls went to Jimmy Choo's and the lads headed for the park for chats about football, women, bladder control without fear of recrimination.

Walked for nearly 2 hours. didn't make it to the park back in '96 so it was nice to see a bit more of the city. The girls joined us at about 4.30pm. Hannah has spent a grand on shoes and a bag and Caroline 500 quid on three pairs which they tell me is a bargain.

Headed back to the hotel for a shower and a kip. Caro and I met in the lobby for a cocktail before dinner and then we headed to Mesa Grill for dinner with J&H and D&J. Had a drink at the bar beforehand and the spiciest breadsticks I have ever had - bit like dynamite in all ways imaginable.

Had posh tacos to start and then a very creditable steak with a mole sauce. The guys all ordered the same and the bill was about $70 a head. We left around midnight and went straight back to the hotel.

Monday, December 31, 2007

29th December

The crazy girls were jumping into the pool at 7am. I thought I'd overslept so jumped up in bed but just before I fell out of the side I spotted the clock and all was well. Went with Mikey to see about my flight reservation and get coffee. We were a bit delayed getting back so I had 30 mins to pack and shower before the bus went. Stupidly did the latter first and sweated more and more as I struggled to fit 19 kg into 6o litres. I mentioned to Mikey that I was dripping in sweat to which his politically-incorrect, east-European reply was

"Yes, I too am svetting like n*gger"

I told him he shouldn't say things like that in the Americas but he was adamant that

"Vot is wrong, is perfectly acceptable in Lithuania"

Said goodbyes to Leslie, Johanna, Mikey at the hotel. The Thais have already gone back to NY and the others (Beth, Jackie, Victoria and Shahela) came on the bus with us en route to Cancun. Trip was reasonably quick and said our emotional goodbye at the terminal. There was no queue at the desk and the Mexican lady gave me the immigration papers for the US in Spanish oping that I spoke a bit of the language.

Going through baggage check was usual ball-ache but it was great when the security guard pleaded with the 95% American contingent to put their shoes back on. Cancun airport like San Jose is horrible. Dominoes, Starbucks, Bubba Gump Shrimp house, McD, BK - you got the lot. Finally found the peanut butter Twix that has eluded me since Peru and settled down with Harry Potter.

Continental Airlines staff still their unprofessional selves after 4 months and the in-flight snack was inedible and my small tin of Heineken $5. The film was a chick flick but I did have a spare seat next to me (the only one on the flight) which was good.The flight was just over 3 hours.

I couldn't believe immigration in Newark - I was through passport check and baggage reclaim in 15 mins. Although the interview with a very hardened female "Nu Yoiker" was quite amusing.

Clerk: "Good evening and how are you today"
Steve: "Coolio. How are you today?"
Clerk: "Ugh? I'm fine. What brings you to the US"
Steve (trying not to say Penelope Cruz): "The New Year festivities. I am here for 4 days"
Clerk: "Where are you staying? Are you travelling alone?"
Steve: "The Mansfield Hotel. Yes"
Clerk: What job do you do?
Steve: "I don't, I am unemployed"
Clerk (with eyes narrowing): "What job did you used to do"
Steve: "I was an IT Manager"
Clerk: "Have you been to the US before"
Steve: "Yes, twice"
Clerk: "When was the last time?"
Steve: "Vegas. In March"
Clerk: "Did you have a job then?"
Steve: "Er, yes"
Clerk: "That was a joke. I was implying that you spent a lot of your salary on the tables"
Steve: "Oh, ok, very good, very funny!"
Clerk: "Thanks. I see you have filled in the Immigration papers in Spanish. Do you speak Spanish"
Steve (fighting back the urge to say 'na, they're all the same, I just winged it'): "Er, yes"

Decided to get the bus downtown to save a bit of cash (only cost 7$) but the first 2 were full so had to wait. The journey took about 45 mins but it is normally a lot quicker as the hispanic woman sitting next to me kept telling me.

Arrived at the hotel after a walk of 5 blocks (bloody cabby laughed when I told him how far I wanted to go. Finally, the wheels on the rucksack paid off). Very nice hotel, room is larger than expected with a double bed and breakfast is included which was also a surprise. Caroline had a migraine and had already gone to bed so I jumped into a cab and headed for Soho to meet the gang. They gave me the address as the restaurant on the corner of West Broadway and Grand St. I had a 50-50 chance of going into the right one. Opened door to first restaurant, everyone stopped eating and looked up. Sadly, I didn't recognise any of the faces.

The second one was a lot more successful. Lots of kisses of the girls and man-hugs from the boys and they all made me feel back home again. There is no news to catch up on so I have carte-blanche to bore them over the next few days with tales from the Americas.

We went to a crap sports bar first any couldn't move and then went to a real locals music bar which was great. Most of the gang were about 6 drinks to the good before I turned up so there were some drunken "Really missed you, mate, good to have you back" from all of them. The nicest part of the night is that they wouldn't let me buy any of the drinks.

I think we left about 2 ish before we departed and I went back to a sound night's sleep in the Mansfield Hotel...

... did I hell! Watched the 40 inch plasma TV in my room - the first english-speaking telly for 4 months!!!!

Saturday, December 29, 2007

28th December

I remember a few years ago Gavin B recommended I should go to Tulum (quiet beach, cool ruins) to get away from the Yanks in Cancun but as I have a free day I thought I would check out the beach at Playa del Carmen. I walked up to the front after a mediocre breakfast - the beach was already pretty full. I thought it will be ok staying here I suppose without the hour trip to get to Tulum. And then I heard....

"So I said, like, yeah no way. And she said, like, ya-ha. So then I said in your dreams sister, you ain't not gonna go and you know it"

I turned to the nearest mexican and asked the way to the Tulum bus stop.

Tulum was really nice. The town had really chilled cafes and restaurants and shops with assistant that didn't try to drag you in from the street. If I had 2 trees and a bigger rucksack I would have bought a hammock. Had a pizza and a huge fruit juice and set off to the ruins.

Yet again the Lonely Planet lied to me. The one km to the ruins were nearer seven. I got collared by a gorgeous local who was trying to flog me a hostel for the night but sadly I had to decline. Finally got to the ruins, they were pretty spectacular with the Caribbean behind. Unfortunately, I had my camera on an odd exposure setting which I only realised when I got back so the pictures are pretty rubbish. The sea was clear blue and the sand reasonably quiet.

Slept on the collectivo back to Playa and banged my head on the window which caused much laughter amongst my travelling companions.

Had a few beers with the others by the pool when I got back and then only managed a rather tame vegetable soup for dinner. The group were dropping like flies with Victoria, Mikey, Linda, Hilary, Ning all going before finishing their mains. The highlight of the meal was when Manita came up, gave me her mobile number etc and said "I don't give this out to many guys. Call me." She will be in NYC over NYE so you never know!

Next stop after dinner was Karaoke. The bar was big and ominously empty. After a few sols the girls were up - Beth and Leslie. Then the Thais took the mike and won the crowd. Ing was particularly powerful. I sang Down Under by Men at Work but it was awful - totally out of key but then recovered in spectacular fashion (even if I say so myself) with New York, New York (most of which was sung on my knees with the girls dancing around me).

Went to a beach bar for a few hours with Beth, Lesley (it was now gone midnight and therefore her birthday) and Johanna (who has livened up considerably). Sols, Tequila etc were flowing and we all staggered home at 2.30am. Bought Leslie a rose for her birthday and then it started to rain so staggered back. Beth popped in for Toblerone and then went to bed. All in all a pretty good night to end the tour.

Friday, December 28, 2007

27th December

A sleepless night with a fan that sounded like light aircraft and a room mate that sounded like a drunken mule. Mikey rolled in at about 9pm last night having been drinking all day and visiting a strip joint-cum-brothel for the evening. He also seems to have bought 9 T-shirts of the same size and style. Why is everyone so weird?

We are off to Playa Del Carmen today - have been here before about 6 years ago. Sadly a 5.30 start. We stopped at Chichén Itzá on the way and after a few hours kip on the bus I was in better form. Was gutted El Castillo, the castle of Kukulman, was now inaccessible as an old dear died there a few years back. Doesn't seem to have cheapened the price though!! We still had a guide and was still an interesting tour.

The next stop was the cenote at Ik Kil. Cenotes are fresh-water filled sink holes found over the Yucutan. A few brave soles went into the icy water, I dropped off to sleep in a chair. Did cenotes on my last visit to México.

Another 4 hours and we were in Playa Del Carmen. Slight mix up with the hotels meant we had to trudge another few blocks but where we are staying now is very relaxing which a pool and nice rooms. Only 4 of us a dinner - Leslie, Beth, Jackie and I but we did eat on the beach itself. Had bruscheta followed by seafood soup and a Mojito. All good.

Bit of girlie gossip to end the tour - it appears as though Linda (Chinese misery) is actually a psycho according to Johanna (repressed lezza) and they actually can't bear to be in the same room as each other. Johanna even fears for her life when Linda shares a room with her. It was a real shame that the hotel was full and they had to room with each other again. Tee-hee. Linda always remined me of the penguin in Wallace and Gromit.

26th December - Boxing Day

In total contrast to yesterday I was determined to have a day of doing nothing. Nothing equated to breakfast, haircut, internet and pool. All passed without incident, a pity Ed (the barber I go to in Colliers Wood) doesn't employ staff like the girl who cut my hair. Very nice.

Lying by the pool was unbelieveably hot. So much so I think I might have had too many rays as for the afternoon I couldn't raise myself off the bed in the room, skipped dinner and had to get one of the Thais to get me a bottle of water. Christmas really is a classic this year.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

25th December - Xmas Day

It's Christmas Day - bit like last year really. Got up, took anti-malarial, applied DEET, applied bite relief cream, packed rucksack, sat on public bus for 9 hours. Did speak to the folks and Auntie which was nice - they are all in Wales. Apart from that until we reached our destination the day was hell. They had 5 films on the bus - all rubbish and in Spanish so quiet no one on the bus, local or otherwise, would have been able to understand.

Xmas lunch last year was turkey with all the trimmings, about 4 desserts washed down with wine, beer, port. This year I had pork scratchings and nuts washed down with Gatorade.

We arrived in Mérida at 6.30. A few minutes more and I would have lamped the woman next to me who alternated between yawning and tutting for the final half an hour of the journey. The hotel is a very odd mix of tropical and half-completed but the water is hot and the bed is a double.

Dinner was pretty poor. Not much choice, expensive and all plates turned up luke warm. The highlight was secret santa. It seems everyone ernt to great effort to buy the jewellery most of the women received. Nok said she did like her Aztec statue but I think secretly she too wanted ear-rings. Mikey bought for me - a tan coloured belt with the words México in 3 colours written around the outside. This belt will be remaining in Mérida.

Fair play most places were shut for post meal drinks so we got some cans from the zeven-eleven and headed home. Victoria and a few others bailed out but we managed to get Beth, Jackie and the Thais along. SPoke about nothing of interest and Beth and I turned in at about 2am.

Given the choice I would have preferred Christmas at home.

24th December - Xmas Eve

It bucketed it down in the night - jungles are great. Had a ball-tightening cold shower and went for breakfast - huevos rancheros with the Orientals. They crack me up - they are like an ant colony and all their actions are predetermined and ordered. I have decided Hilary has a hormone problem as she is far more loud and annoying first thing in the morning and calms down as the day progresses. The medical amongst you probably know what this might be?

I waited for the aussies and then we headed off on the 3km trek to the Palenque Ruins. A guide once told me to look for the differences in the ruins you visit not the similarities. MOnte Albán was on top of a mountain, Mitla had the most ornate wall decorations, Chichen Itza is set in a forest and Palenque is in the jungle. What an amazing backdrop for some of the best restored ruins in Latin America - this could easily be the setting for a Lara Croft or Indiana Jones film. We climbed, snapped, walked and the girls shopped. We took action snaps but the afternoon was marred by me getting stung by fire ants which was absolute murder. These boys aren't deterred by DEET in fact I think it turned them on. Still, I managed to bat them off pretty quickly so I only have a few weals. We spent a good few hours in the park and them trekked back for a late lunch and went on the rip early. Beth, queen of the "personal question", was on good form and soon had us relating secrets. Really need to have that football conversation before I started considering a manicure. Mikey arrived back late from his trip to the border of Guatemala to see more ruins and had a very funny story about how the bus driver forgot about him and drove back to his house before Mikey informed him he still had a passenger left.

Dinner was very good again - beef fajitas and Sol. We watched a 2 bands and another fire show and had shots of rank mandarin Vodka. As midnight approached the girls went to another bar in another part of the jungle but I pointed out there were way to many beardy-weirdies going for it to be a good night and so I saw the dawn of Xmas day while brushing my teeth back in the room.

23rd December

Time to leave San Cristóbal and frankly I am glad. There is very little here except shop. I bought my secret santa present (an obsidian statue for Nok) and that was about it.

We left by private minibus en route for Palenque and it was due to last about 6 hours. I was looking forward to the 2 stop off for the day - the Agua Azul and Misol Ha Waterfalls - both of which feature in the film Predator with Arnie. The girls looked rough on the bus with another 4 am finish.

The waterfalls were very impressive and the water crystal clear but bloody freezing. After a quick dip in Agua Azul I spent the remaining 40 mins free time sun-bathing next to a woman with fake boobs. Sadly it was Sunday and therefore rammed with locals which wasn't conducive to relaxation but I'd take it over the bus any day. I'd been stuffing junk food on the bus so I skipped the lunch the others went for.

The Misol Ha waterfall was instantly recognisable from the aforementioned film and is the one Arnie falls down while being persued by the Predator. The lake below again was clear as tap water. I was hungry by now so had a cheese and ham sandwich and a cheeky Piña Colada. Shahela was hilarious - she had taken a travel sickness pill but looked as if she'd been dragged through a hedge. Hilary came and talked at me during my meal which wasn't fun so I consoled myself further with ice cream.

We arrived in Palenque at about 5 and made the short trip into the jungle where we will be staying 2 nights. The lodges were great, a bit downmarket from the ones in Perú but functional. It seems were were the only lodge not to have hot water but I am used to cold after 4 months of travelling in Latin America.

Had a Corona and read my recently acquired "Harry Potter y la piedra filosofal" (Harry Potter and the Philisopher's stone in Spanish). It was harder going than I thought but I now know "una lechuza" is an owl. Mikey has gone to the ruins were are going to tomorrow so I took the opportunity of having a snore-free siesta.

Had a great pizza for dinner and more beer. They put on live music and a fire show with some local hippies, in fact while I remember the whole place seems like a student union with soap-dodgers everywhere with their odd tobacco and their unwashed dreaded hair.

Had a strange encounter with a waiter. Transcript to follow in English.

Steve: Do you have any ice cream?
Waiter: Ice cream? Yes.
S: Which flavours? Do you have chocolate?
W: Yes....Ice cream?
S: Er, yes.
(Waiter brings glass full of white liquid and straw)
S: This is ice cream?
W: Yes.
(Steve tastes "drink". It is foul - bitter and watery)
S: Waiter, what is this? This isn't ice cream.
W: Yes, ice cream.
S: But I wanted ice cream with a spoon.
W: Oh, ice cream! I thought you wanted "tea with ice cream"
S: Why would I want that? Why would anyone want that. It is disgusting. Can I have just ice cream with a spoon please?
W: Oh, we don't do ice cream.

I stayed chatting with the girls until I could hack it no more - 12am.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

22nd December

Early start today - need to ring Ma to wish her happy birthday but true to form she was unavailable on all her 3 numbers so I had a cafe to go and ate cinnamon cake back in bed. Did get to speak to her while we waited for the coach which was nice.

Today is a bit different. We are off to visit the villages of the Zapatista Insurgents in Chiapas. The history as you can imagine is pretty bloody. Here it is in a nutshell....

The Liberation Army of the South was an important force in the Mexican Revolution (1910–1919), led by Emiliano Zapata. Zapata was killed by the government - the hacienda de SAn Juan is riddled with bullets to this day and can be visited with those with a sense of the macabre. Today the descendents want autonomy from the government and run their own hospitals, shops, schools but the government are still out to crush their cause and arrest the insurgents. As a result visits to the villages are run under maximum security - we had to hand in our passports to the balaclava-clad guerillas on the gate.

We had a talk from one of the leaders, still wearing his balaclava (which was incredibly intimidating) and he preached his ideaology in Spanish. Our guide did a great job at the translating and Leslie and I filled in the gaps. We were allowed to take one photo of the leaders and visit the shop but any photos of locals without covered faces would have got us into hot water - although I was dying to find out what that meant. The shop was quite good, so I bought a T-shirt although was lost for words when I found a pamphlet praising Osama Bin Laden's attack on the US.

After a quick food stop we visited another Zapatista village - the main church was actually quite interesting (I am so sick of visiting churches) and the locals perform all sorts of rituals for sickness and to recapture lost spirits involving Coca-cola and chickens. Don't ask. We went around the markets but you get tired saying "No gracias" to the local kids who won't leave you alone.

The trip cost 230 pesos which when you convert back to pounds is only about 12 quid but by latin american standards it was a complete rip off. Didn't tip the guide as a result.

Bought Harry Potter in Spanish and went back to the hotel. I am nearly at breaking point with the group - I have never needed a beer with some mates or have a chat about rugby or football down the pub - I think it might be time to come home (or explain rugby to Mikey, who is still sick). I declined dinner - I can't be doing with the whinging and penny-counting that goes on so I am currently "doing my own thing".

We are off to Palenque early tomorrow which are another set of ruins - but this time in the junglew whcih should be great. The trip again will be sponsored by DEET.

21st December

Hmm, the bank balance isn't looking as healthy as I had hoped, so I ducked out of the Canyon Tour (let's face it it isn't going to beat Colca Canyon!). Instead I had a fruitless search for a hairdresser and walked the streets of San Cristobal until my feet ached.

The others got back about 3pm and after a snooze I was ready for dinner. Leslie chose a Thai restaurant which served great samosas, green curry and a few cheeky Kalis (Thai cocktails). Most of the group went straight back after the meal (Mikey is ill with a post-hangover cold, the others are just lame). Victoria, Beth, Jackie, Shahela and I played Pictionary on the paper tablecloths of the restaurant while sitting next to a roaring fire and for a minute you could be fooled into thinking it was Christmas-time. I have also had more luck with Secret Santa. There are now 13 out of 15 who want to do it which is great so I will have at least one present to open on XMas day after our ride to Mérida. The 2 who didn't want to participate were Johanna (think I might have called her Suzanna before) and a Chinese girl called Linda - both are uptight and need to chill. I also found out that the other Chinese-US girl is called Ning and not Ling, so just to recap the Asian contingent is...

Nok, Ing, Ning - I shit you not.

We toddled off to a really nice wine bar for a glass of Malbec before meeting up with Leslie (who had been dragged out of bed by the girls). The waitress in the bar was from Italy and therefore by definition I had to fancy her.

The bar shut at 0030 and so the "Music bars" were the only option. I walked to the main street with the girls but when I saw the place they wanted to go to I did a "News of the World reporter" and made my excuses and left. I don't really see the point of going to bars where it is so dark you can't see the person opposite you and so loud you can't hear them speak. I am now officially my dad. Good night.

Friday, December 21, 2007

20th December

Mikey seems to have recovered and was up for some breakfast followed by market and ruins action. We met the girls, Beth and Jackie, and headed off to the stalls. The markets, both indoor and out, are great in Oaxaca. The girls bought some trinkets and I had to steer Mikey away from the leather hat shop for fear he would like like someone out of the Village People.

We had lunch - chorizo, beans and tortillas for me; stuffed chillis for the girls and Mikey had 2 meals because he confused the waitress. The juices the others had looked amazing - pints and freshly squeezed.

In the afternoon we headed for the ruins of Monte Albán. I persuaded the others to take public transport as it was cheaper and I needed some space away from Oirish. 38 pesos got us to the top of the mountian. The main differences between today's and yesterday's ruins are the fact that as the name suggests Monte Albán is built on the mountain overlooking the city. The views from the main pyramid were amazing. We took many photos, with some action ones on timer. The heat was relentless but I managed to keep the girls' enthusiasm going with promises of ice-cream while not trying to sound like a perv.

Our return ticket got us back to the centre about 5.30. Mikey went off to pick up his vomit-free laundry and Jackie, Beth and I had a snack in the square. Had my first tamale since Tupiza and a cup of hot chocolate. We batted many a street-seller away and then made our way to the hotel to join the others.

We are off on a 12 hour night bus to San Cristóbal tonight so made sure the snacks were a-plenty and contact lenses out. My glasses are in seriously bad shape and I look such a slob now when I wear them. The bus station looked more like a car showroom than a terminal, spent the final 30 mins before the off watching a chocolate making demo in one of the shops.

Mikey and I managed to secure a seat well away from any Irish and as the film was a badly dubbed Indian spectacular we all dropped off to sleep pretty much straight away.

The coach had a pit stop after 8 hours, had coffee with evaporated milk (yuk) and listened to tales of woe and discomfort from Hilary.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

19th December

Mikey strolled in at 3am, vomited in the bathroom and fell on top of me before I kicked him towards his half of the room. Funnily enough when I got up at 7 he was fit for nothing. Today we were off on another tour of the region. Our guide, Ivan, drove us firstly to a Tule tree that was around at the time of Jesus Christ. This thing isn't that tall but boy is it wide! The Mexicans not wanting to miss out on a peso were charging 3$ for a photo but my camera isn't so bad that it can't take a photo from 100 yds. 3$ saved. We left Hilary buying anti-histamines with the guide whom she seems to have taken a shine to.
Next stop was a textile factory. Great demonstration of weaving and dyeing using cochineal bugs (red) and how you can add lemon juice to make purple and bicarbonate of soda to make pink. I got done by a seriously good sales pitch and I now have a rug I neither want nor am able to carry in my rucksack. Still the colours are nice. Jesus, I have been with the women 4 days and I am now turning into one!

Stop 3 were the Mitla ruins. These were once inhabited by the Zapotec indians thousands of years ago before the Aztecs and then the dirty Spanish arrived. The ruins are famous for the intricate stone designs on the temples and palaces. It is only up close you realise how they must have nailed geometry far more than I did at A-level.

Had a spot of lunch in the car-park. For the last 4 months I have been warned off eating street food but the allure of fresh tortillas was too much. Had mine with cheese, mushroom and avocado. Mighty fine, so had another with extra chilli sauce. Also had a brief chat with the guide who wanted to know where I learned Spanish etc.

The penultimate stop were the petrified waterfalls at hierve de agua. The word "petrified" caused a lot of confusion on the bus. "How can water be scared?". I had to set the record straight. Due to the high mineral content of the water when it cascades over the cliff it solidifies causing the effect that it is frozen in time, hence petrified. There were also mineral pools nearby, the water was like ice but the views amazing. Hilary is now asking the guide to take her hand on every occasion.

The final stop, and one for the boys, well, me, was a Mezcal factory. The most famous type of Mezcal is obviously Tequila but there are many other options. We were shown the original cactus, how the "pineapples" (ie the roots) are cut (and the worms removed!) and baked for 4 days. Then the roots are pulped with a mill pulled by donkey and the gunk is fermented and distilled to produce the wife-beating qualities of Tequila. Next came the tasting, worms included. Out came the salt and limes and luckily down stayed the lunch. Bought a T-shirt and a few bought some bottles for friends and family.

We arrived back late from the tour and by the end I decided I wanted a night away from the giggling and relentless Asian photo-shoots so had a very early night with Mexican TV and a bag of chicharron (bit like pork scratchings).

18th December

There isn't a lot to do in Puebla. Most of the girls went to the pottery factory, I chose the food and internet option. True to form the network crashed after about 15 mins so I consoled myself with a mexican panini and cafe con leche.

Today we were off to Oaxaca (pronounced "wahaka") - "ruin central" for the Zapotecs. Oaxaca is 5 hours away from Puebla but the journey was made all the more comfortable by a mistake by Leslie (she had booked tickets for the previous day) so she had to hire our own coach. Happy Days!

I worked out we had about 5 seats each but as is normally the case with me the more room I have the more difficult I find it to get comfortable so I chose a seat near the back far away from the Oirish and read the local papers which are every bit as depressing as any other Latin America paper I have read.

We arrived in Oaxaca at about 8 and went for a meal in the Zócalo square (which I have learned is the equivalent of "Plaza de Armas" in South America and "Plaza Mayor" in Spain). Food was nothing special (Enchiladas de pollo) and the margarita small. We went for a stroll around the square after dinner and to finish off we (Victoria, Shahela, Mikey and I) enjoyed a bottle of wine at Mikey's expense. He bought another bottle to go and then we headed home. Got as far as the nearest bar playing banging music which our Lithuanian traveller found too irrestistible so we made our excuses and left for the hostel.

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

17th December

Today is 1/2 Mexico City and 1/2 a trip to Puebla (south-east of capital). Had a coffee with Beth and Jackie and then we gathered for the city and pyramids tour. Mikey is on his tod today as he did it all yesterday.

We visited the same Aztec ruins as yesterday but but were given the associated history. We also visited an indigenous church and told the story of Santo Juan Diego and the Virgen Guadalupe. More churches followed including the impressive Basilica de Guadalupe and saw the shroud of the eponymous virgin which appeared on a linen cloth when Juan Diego presented the Bishop with a bunch of roses or so the story goes. Williams completely missed this photo opportnity as his battery had run out. Around the Basilica there was a huge statue of Pope John Paul II forged out of keys the locals had donated in his honour. Suzie was on top form, and under the same statue whic read "SS Juan Pablo II" started with....

Suzie: "Is that the Pope?"
Steve: "Pope John Paul II"
Suzie: "Oh, he's not well, is he?"
Steve: "Not exactly, no"

We made stops to a silver factory and shop - had a good chat with the owner - he was very proud of his photo with Leonardo Di Caprio who visited when on location filming Romeo and Juliet. I bought a pair of silver sombrero cuff-links (come on! I'm on holiday!). Getting 13 women out of a jewellery shop was not my idea of fun. We also stopped by a ceramics and precious stones factory and had a demonstration on how to fashion soap, a needle and thread and paper from a cactus and also sample diferent strengths of tequila.

Our final destination was the pyramids of Teotihuacan - they were every bit as impressive as I remember Chitchen Itza with a sun and moon pyramid, altar, palace all beautifully excavated. Took lots of photos including stupid ones of rock-climbing with the aussies.

Lunch was a mexican buffet that Dan would have been salivating over. I did it justice and hoovered up 4 plates.

Arriving back at the hotel we gathered our stuff and headed to the city of Puebla about 2 hours away. I have finally met the last member of the group, Hilary, a pint-sized Northern Irish ("I'm not feckin' Oirish" being some of her first words). It appears as though she doesn't like Mexican food and will refuse to order anything unless the menu is in English "I don't feckin speak Spanish". Get the idea?

Journey went quite quickly, Shahela sat next to me and we chatted about Manchester. She is a final year medical student and quite a laugh.

We got to the hotel, checked in and went out for dinner to El Mural de Poblano a restaurant specialising in the local mole (sauce) made of chocolate, onions and peppers. Quite an acquired taste but made easier by a great range of Margaritas. Hilary had steak but she "taught she'd troy de mole ting" as well. After dinner most of the group went to the bar from hell. Crap music, nearly pitch black and under a tarpaulin for a roof. Mikey, the Thais and I left after 1 drink leaving the Aussies and Leslie there.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

16th December

The room-mate is called Mangirdas from Lithuania - I know this as he staggered in at 2.30am this morning. He seems like a good laugh though and obviously up for a beer. I will refer to him as "Mikey" from now on. He left early to go on a pyramid tour while I waited for the dreaded "Welcome Meeting" with the tour leader at 10am. Breakfast was great - bacon, egg, frijoles (black beans), toast and hot salsa.

Met the others at 10. There are 15 on the trip THIRTEEN of which are women, so it seems Mikey and I are the only fellas. There are 3 Thai girls, 2 Chinese, 2 Aussies, 1 Kiwi and a Scot. There are also 2 no-shows as yet but I know they too are women. Met the tour leader, Leslie, woman number fourteen who is from Chicago and seems nice.

Left before 12 headed for the Zocalo square with my beatches in tow. Chatted to a few on the way there - Beth and Jackie the Aussies are good fun and we seem to share the same sense of humour. Manita from Thailand is the best looking but looks about 19. Shahela from Scotland is the only other Brit but is studying in Manchester so stuff to talk about there.

It is Sunday and some of the streets were deserted but up by the Zocalo they were packed. I have a map of the city – you wouldn’t believe this thing, when opened out fully it is a big as a bed spread. It took 15 mins to find the hotel and the square.

The square is very impressive but ruined by the fact they have build an ice rink for Christmas. We visited the Cathedral, the National Palace including checking out the murals of Diego Rivera and the Aztec ruins. In the end it became too hot for sight-seeing so we stopped off in a café called Starbucks. At this point the jet-lag kicked in, some of the girls went to the Anthropology museum, I went to the supermarket and then bed.

Mikey arrived back enthusing about the pyramids and we all met at 7 for dinner. Our new joiner is a foxy chick, Victoria, from Adelaide and there is still one missing from the gang. We ate in a Cuban restaurant called La Bodeguita del Medio. Mikey was off with Russian mates so, again, I was with surrounded by women. Food was ok, Camarones (shrimp) in tamarind sauce, frijoles and Cuba Libre. Spoke to a few others – Suzannah is an ex-Brit living in Wellington but as she poo-pooed my idea of secret santa she has immediately been relegated to division 2. Nothing else interesting apart from an unbelievable conversation between Suzie (Chinese) and Manita (Thai) while looking at a glass case of T-shirts, mugs etc of Cuba.

Manita: “Who is that man? I have seen him everywhere in South America”
Suzie: “That is Miguel Castro”
Steve: “Sorry?”
Suzie: “Miguel Castro. The Cuban Leader”
Steve: “Do you mean Fidel Castro?”
Suzie: “Ah yes, that’s him”
Steve: “But you are looking at a picture of Che Guevara”
Suzie: “ Who?”
Steve: “It’s not important”

The Cuban cabby gave us an impromptu tour of the city and I finally turned in wondering if I could get away with telling Suzie that Che Guevara was a Cuban footballer.

15th December

Despite the usual automatic waking through the night to check I haven't slept in I actually didn't feel to bad getting up at 3.45am. Most of today will be spent travelling. The day will start and end with a cab and the final destination should be the most densely populated capital city in the world - Mexico's.

Slight panic at the airport! I couldn't see my flight on the departure board, checked and re-checked the paperwork, suffered the embarrassment of asking a security guard if there was another terminal or indeed another international airport in Santiago. Doh! It appears as though the departure boards only show the flights directly opposite the check-in desks they relate to so I could only see the LAN Chile ones - what use is that? Found the right desk - the family from hell were in front of a depressingly long queue, the father was useless, the mother was chastising her elder daughter while the younger one was being sick down her father, and onto the counter and the floor.

Forgot to change CH$ back to dollars so I now have about 50 quid in useless currency despite buying an overly expensive breakfast, Milka and Toblerone - a future trip perhaps will get shot of the rest. The first flight to Lima passed without incident (4 hours). Stop 1. The flight to San Jose, Costa Rica was great - I had 3 seats to myself and another meal (that makes 3 for today). Another 4 hours, stop 2.

San Jose airport is 'orrible. It is 90% gringos, all prices are in US$, most workers are US college students and English is the first language spoken. The food court consisted of Burger King, Dunkin Donuts and Papa Johns. I had FIVE hours to wait until my third and final flight so killed about 30 mins with meal number 4 of the day and settled down with Lynda.

Meal number 5 was on-board the flight to Mexico City. Ironically, there were no identifiable gringos on board - probably unable to unchain themselves from the Golden Arches. Everywhere I have read Mexico City is the home of culture chock. It has everything - altitude, smog, crime and an awful lot of Mexicans. Started well - was first through immigration partly due to inventive queue-jumping on my part but was nearly last to leave baggage claim. Customers were uninterested and getting a cab was only painful as I had to walk the entire length of the terminal building but to get the security of a "remise" I suppose was worth it. Journey took about 20 mins, the hotel (a last minute change by Gap) is about 3 blocks from the red-light district which was slightly disconcerting especially as the cab driver was waving at one of the girls. Checked in about 10.30 which is 01.30 Chile time so crashed out pretty much straight away. My room-mate's stuff was neatly packed away which is a good sign - he must be out on the welcome dinner I have managed to avoid on all my tours so far.

14th December

Ian left at 4am. I have to say (as I know he is reading this) that he is one of the most genuine people I have met. He is the bloke that would win Big Brother every time - funny, clever, sporty. I'll stop now, sound gay. Farewell and good luck with the Boobies in the Galapagos!

Had final breakfast with Jon and Sarah who were stressed having lost their room key. We said good-bye after a cheeky ham and cheese toasty. That's it now, just me left.

I have an itinerary for the day, first stop El Museo de Bellas Artes. Very impressive building set in a tree-lined avenue but sadly the modern art didn't live up to the exterior. The worst exhibition was "a tribute to Picasso" - poor bloke would have turned in his grave! The highlight of the museum was a collection of Robert Frank photos - very impressive and food for thought when I go to NY later this month.

Popped into the Post Office, well queued for an hour, to send parcel 3 of 3 back to the UK. This includes the sleeping bag. Had a bit of a mental block when filling in the customers form which backfired on me in truly embarrassing fashion...

(At this point I have filled in a long list of the contents of my parcel until I reach sleeping bag. What the hell is "sleeping bag in Spanish". I'll just put "tent" as I am guessing the cashier won't speak English.)

Cashier: "What is the value of your tent?"
Steve: "Tent?"
Cashier: "Yes, the one you are posting"
Steve: "Oh, that tent. Nothing"
Cashier: "Nothing? Zero pesos?"
Steve: "Yes, it is broken"
Cashier: "So why are you posting it"
Steve: "Err, sentimental value"
Cashier: "What is broken?"
Steve: "The tent in its entirety" (really struggling on the vocab at this point)
Cashier: "It must be a special tent"
Steve: "I have to catch a plane"

There is only one way to combat the prickly heat and moist armpits after such a trauma - coffee with legs. Had a chat with one of the girls this time. Luckily it wasn't about tents.

Got back to the hotel, had a glass of Torrontes and sat by the pool.

Dinner was back in the Indian restaurant. The third time sadly not as enjoyable as the last two. I have gone from a table for eight to a table for four and depressingly tonight I had a table for two. Myself and Lynda La Plante. Decided on the non-piquante sauce due to tomorrow's killer flights up north. Ordered cab for 4.30 and went off to bed.

Friday, December 14, 2007

13th December

Ian and I made a pact with the others that we would get up for breakfast at see them off. Boy what a struggle. Rob was in a bad way when I woke him up and breakfast as a whole wasn't well supported by Exodus! It was an emotional good-bye. Charlotte was visibly upset and with the others it was partly a lack of sobriety and hopefully genuine emotion. The new guys looked terrified and speechless - remind you of anyone on the first day? Said farewell to Andy and Tubbs who have been great, depsite the former being in a foul mood. Ruth already found one of the clues to the hidden book.

Went back to bed and onto the second breakfast of the day and moved my stuff to the new room - Ian and I splitting the costs for tonight. Ian, Steve and I went for a stroll to Cerro Santa Lucia - a hill in the middle of the city which provided good views but sadly the haze over Santiago most of the year means we couldn't see the Andes clearly. We also went up the Cerro San Cristobál - a bigger hill reached by funicular and descended by cable car which was a right laugh - despite questioning the safety aspects of the latter on the way down. We had lunch at the top and Steve indulged in his final Pisco Sour.

Got back to the Plaza de Armas by cab, Steve went to meet his cousin. I dragged Ian to more "coffee with legs" - poor bloke was speechless and shaking. We got back to the hotel and chatted to Jon and Sarah and later had another curry with the other 3. Really tasty, if a little hot, sampled the seafood that Chileans boast at any opportunity. Dinner conversation was good, we spoke about what the truck folk were up to, who was arguing and how the newbies are getting on. We spoke about Steve as he has departed and how we thought he was a genuine kinda guy - not the best after too many beers but generally very thoughtful and pleasant when sober - he could be worse and indeed in the last 3 weeks I have seen other characters far worse.

Ian has to get up at 4am so we both turned in early. Tomorrow I am on my tod!

12th December

Free day today - which means making breakfast at 9.59 am. Went for a stroll on my tod for most of the day. I really like Santiago - it is clean, green, safe, friendly and if it had more history it would be up there with BA as best capital city visited. Problem is I can't understand a WORD of what they are saying. The Chilenos have a reputation of being misunderstood. The shops, bars, restaurants are numerous and seems to be a lot of variety. The only downside is the number of fastfood places. I saw the Golden Arches, Burger King, Subway, Starbucks and even the bloody Colonel. Bought Andy and Tubbs a bottle of rum and got them US$50 each for their efforts over the last weeks. The day will be remembered though for having a coffee in a cafe with no seat and one continuous wavy table and being served by women in micro-dresses. When I walked in I was surrounded by a cross between air-stewardesses and strippers. I have to say though that it was all above board and there were a number of women customers too. The woman who served my table was unfortunately like "Edith" out of " 'allo 'allo" - it is a pity they don't have bars like this in BA!!!

The girls were off having manicures, pedicure, coiffeurs etc while Rob, Tubbs, Kate, Ian, Jon and I had some drink by the pool. They were on triples and I plumped for the wine I bought in Cafayate. Kate was there complete with washboard stomach, Rob was there with the obligatory Cuba Libre and Tubbs was his usual self and asked me if I had trieed "Coffee with legs" to which I laughed. Ian, Jon and I hid the quiz book on the truck as part of a treasure hunt. Hilarious but required so much effort after the drinks.

We ate in La Vaca Gorda ("the fat cow") as a farewell meal. Charlotte and Tina looked great after their salon experience and the meal was memorable for all the leavers. Had another steak but still not as good as Argie. Met the other 2 new joiners, hope they last the pace. Steve insisted we did speeches. Don't ask me what I said I was well under the influence by then. We took hundreds of photos in various poses before heading off to a local bar much to the relief of the locals in the resturant. Bit tame, we sat outside. The bar had no music, no dancefloor and NO KARAOKE. Connor was in Mr Hyde mode and Rob totally incomprehensible. Ian was in a state which I haven't seen before - he even confessed which bear he looks like and Steve fell asleep on a couch. Karen and Shannon looked a bit bored - probably as El Cantor is off tomorrow but did have a good chat with Charlotte who is depressed her bear is going.

Got back to find Rob flat out on bed, but this time I did take photographic evidence. Watch this space...

11th December

Today we went south, and regrettably so did the quality of the women.

Started off with breakfast with Jitka in the hotel restaurant. I felt a bit sorry for her because she has been singled out by the group of late. I tried to talk to her about Mendoza versus BA but when she ranted about how disgustingly dirty Mendoza was I lost interest. Over the last few weeks she has been likened to ET and Yoda on looks and Darth Sidious on personality but I have to say the lookey-likey for me has to be a dementor from Harry Potter, not because she smells of rotting flesh or works at Azkaban but that she sucks out every happy thought you have ever had. Good job I like chocolate.

Today is the last trip on the truck - in many ways this is a sad thing but also I think the journeys could have been a bit more fun. Ian , Steve, Karen, Ruth and I had one last bumper quiz session. Fyodor Dostoevsky sadly didn't turn up for a final appearance.

Chilean customs. Dear God what a palaver. We were in imigración and Aduana for two and a half hours. They had the sniffer dogs on the truck to detect meat, fruit, drugs but thankfully not my dirty laundry. Andy had a panic when they asked him for some paperwork which he only had a fax of - the original being in BA, and we all had a panic when Shannon remembered we had salami on board after handing in the declaration forms stating we had nothing on board.

Finally got through the border and had lunch in a restaurant about 60 km into Chile. We arrived in Santiago at about 7pm. Seems ok, tomorrow will tell - a free day. Met one of the new gang - Kate, a fitness instructor from Sunningdale. She is very much like Kate Dobson if any of my friends are reading this - another confident, sexy blonde. She won't take any shite from the rest of the truck - hope she gets to share with Jitka at some point.

Dinner was CURRY. The hotel (Majestic) has a great Indian restaurant and a great way to remember being back home. Had Chicken Tikka Masala, Naan, Rice, a beer and shared a bottle of red with Charlotte. Baout 15 quid all in. Might seem like a lot for South America but well worth it.

Afterwards we went to a party for another set of trucks just up the road. Despite Shannon's dubious directions we eventually made it. Must have been nearly a hundred people there. Andy and Tubbs finally let their hair down and were both totally gone after an hour or so. Took some amusing photos of the latter. The most bizarre part of the evening was Ian, Steve, Jon and I played cricket in the nets that were part of the hotel which was such good fun - haven't played since school. Must have been 3 hours in total. We had a drinks break - lager and rum, you don't often see that at the MCC. Connor and Andy threw each other in the pool, Andy had his phone in the pocket, he was v unhappy about this, in fact stormed of with a comatose Tubbs. Connor remains the "aggressive drunk on tour". He muttered a few things to me under his breath during the evening which were incomprehensible.

When we got back, Rob, who had sensibly put his over-indulgent self to bed early was lying on his side with his jeans around his knees and otherwise totally clothed. I must have been drunk because I didn't take a photo.

10th December

What does one do on a free day in Mendoza? Walk. I must have walked for 4 hours, along tree-lined boulevards in search of the zoo. When I arrived, it was shut. Nothing opens on Mondays in South America - how many times have I forgotten this. It didn't matter, the city is really nice. Smaller than BA and so you don't need to get public transport to go from the lively bit to the green bit to the historic bit etc.

Lunch was tame - dry chicken pie and water and not particularly cheap. The afternon was spent reading the local papers - Simeone has gone to River to coach and it is 35 degrees in Iguazú. Apart from that it is the day of Christina Kirchner's presidential inauguration and the average Argentinian thinks it is a good thing. Crashed out in the park in the afternoon only to be woken by the sound of kids playing football far to near to be relaxing. Nice to see it isn't only England that has horrible chav youths. I glared, in a "Stick it up yer Malvinas" kinda way and ambled off downtown. Bumped into Chris and Ruth. She was as fun and talkative as ever and Chris mentioned something about camera lenses.

Bumped into Charlotte, Shannon and Karen in a an outside cafe. Had coffee while the chicas had ordered the equivalent of the EU chocolate cake mountain, but I suppose travelling means you need the carbs. Nasty English drunk old boy on table next to us but we did our best to ignore him. Mentioned a few restaurants which might be good for dinner. Went to buy some football T-shirts. The kid in the shop was very helpful, especially when I asked him for a River Plate shirt and then he nearly lamped me when I asked for the Boca equivalent in the same size.

It seems Rob wasn't destined to join us and did his own thing for dinner. It also seems the plan of the previous night's clientele has stretched to most of the group. The more the merrier?

Table for 14 in a great restaurant near the park was dinner. They had their own wine shop and a somelier who was very useful and seemed to know his stuff. I shared 3 bottled with Ian and Chris each at 50 pesos (about 8-9 pounds per bottle). The Beaujolais and Lambrini fans who I have yet to convert in my "friend-set" may be choking at the price but they were all excellent - we even had one which was billed "Incan" - you should have seen the bottled date! Probably had a Pachamama stamp of approval as well. The meal itself was excellent. A small starter of olives and then Filet de Mignon for about 8 pounds hardly broke the bank. The veggies were even tucking into the beef with gusto. It was great to see Charlotte enthusing on hers and indeed everyone had something complimentary to say which is both astonishing and encouraging. Jitka wasn't in the party. Had a good chat with Shannon, mi hermanita, about Spain, Spanish and the future, for both of us. Pudding was fruit and ginger ice-cream, "jengibre" not being the easiest word to pronounce after vino tinto.

The downer on the night was paying the bill and seeing the worst side of Chris and his buttock-clenching anal retention. We went straight back after dinner, no extra beers but after the last few days I am happy to take it easy.

Monday, December 10, 2007

9th December

Seemingly no sooner had I shut my eyes but the sun was up. Red sky in the morning means only one thing and putting away a tent in a storm is not my idea of fun. Yes, I had the hangover from hell and if we hadn't found a quiz book on the truck I think I would have been in a worse state. The questions were good and pretty recent. It turns out Ed and Ian are geniuses. Tina was hilarious and only seemed to wake up for the Irish questions which she got right. Even Jitka played - it is good to see everyone bonding for once. Connor and Kellie argued for most of the morning, but I guess that is what they do.

No getting away from the distance between Córdoba and Mendoza - about 800km. So it was a case of put up and shut up. We stopped halfway for lunch whch was salad and very nice. A bit gutting we had to throw a lot of it away as you can't bring fruit into Mendoza to protect the vines from fruit flies etc. We also had a fuel/ice-cream break. Had this mint chocolate thing that was entirely black but sadly didn't live up to being the Darth Vader of cold snacks.

We arrived in Mendoza at around 7pm. On the surface it is very leafy green and quiet, but then it was Sunday. Looks a bit like Recoletta in BA. Hotel is ok, budget but everything seems to work. Passed on the idea of all night drinking with Andy and Tubbs due to the previous night's beer fatigue, but did go out with the 4 gringas, Ed and Ian and had a very nice stuffed hake, purée de papas, beer and shared a couple of bottles of Torrontes with the others. Had to borrow Cherry's belt which was a bit humbling as I left mine on the truck which is now in a truck park - but I suppose I haven't stretched to a 34 inch waist depsite the indulgences of the last three and a half months. When I got back Rob went out to find the others and I fell asleep watching "The Core" on telly. Free day tomorrow which means lie-in. Mmmm.

8th December

Carlotito and I left at about 10am. A longer ride today and no stops. He was in a better mood and free of itches. The sun was even stronger and the need to wear long trousers an irritation.

A bit of excitement when Karen got thrown, twice. Not badly, she kind of just fell off. But in all fairness to her she dusted herself off and got back on and persevered. We were joined on the trek by Kevin's wife. I don't think I have seen a woman look more like a horse before. I was so tempted to ask her "why the long face?" but thought better of it. We trekked for about 4 hours, had a cup of warm lemon squash back at another part of the ranch, I said goodbye to Carlotito and thanked him for my not being able to feel my undercarriage and then we got pick up trucks back to our tents.

After a quick game of football, I tried to find a quiet spot to read my book in the afternoon but I have only just realised how loud the voices are on the truck. I tried the tent - too hot, by a tree but it was full of ants, indoors although a lot cooler was being overrun by Carlos and his chefs who are cooking our dinner. This lasted for 2 hours and then finally I went back to the tent which had cooled, read 2 sentences, fell asleep and then missed the first course at dinner.

Tonight we are being treated to BBQd beef, chorizo, morcilla (black pudding), salad, and lots of wine. Regrettably Kevin has joined us and spouting stories of when he was a gaucho. Zzzzzz. The meat was too well done for me but the black pudding brought back happy memories of BA as I lathered my bread with cooked blood. Sat next to Jon and Sarah at the table which was nice as I'd not really spoken to either of them at length on the trip.

The drinking continued after dinner and after playing a game of intimate questions with the others I crashed out on the longer couch at about 2am. It turns out I seems to have an enemy on the truck. We shall see how that pans out over the next few days. We are off to Mendoza tomorrow at the crack of dawn. I can't wait to sit on the truck with a hangover.

7th December

Sausage and eggs for breakfast - things are definitely improving grub-wise. While we were eating a couple of gauchos turned up and shepherded the horses into our paddock. My God they were enormous and in much better condition that the bony specimens in Ecuador and Bolivia.

My horse was called Carlotito - black, with a white nose and built like a brick shit-house. Everyone went riding which was nice, I had left my boots out to air before going to bed but it had rained all night. Nice. The good news is Kevin isn't going with us but his "horse manager" is. This gaucho is your archetypal Argentinian, long flowing locks, square shoulders and it wasn't long before we could here groans and sighs of appreciation from the girls. His sidekick was a very "jolly hockey sticks" blonde from the Home Counties called Lottie but she was pleasant enough.

Carlotito was a bit feisty at first, I originally put this down to the fact that he could tell I had years of riding experience and couldn't wait to canter but in reality it was because he had an itchy leg which he couldn't scratch because I didn't give him enough slack on the reins. After the we got on famously and I even let him eat the grass when we took a breather.

We trekked to a waterfall supposedly to have the sarnies we had made for lunch but as lunch was supposed to be hamburgers off the truck I settled for chocolate and fell asleep on a flat rock. After last night's choice of bed it was good to finally be horizontal.

The journey back to the estancia was largely non-eventful. No falls, knockouts or submissions although the knackers took a bit of a hammering during a trot over rocks.

Andy and Tubbs were cooking for tonight - a whole lamb on the BBQ. I haven't had lamb since I left home so I was like Neanderthal Man when presented with a shoulder and stripped it to, quite literally, the bare bones. Dessert was banoffee pie made out of dulce de leche for added sugar fix.

Had earlier night and went back to the tent to stretch out. I have also spotted a longer couch which I might try tomorrow.

It was good to be back in the saddle today. The experienced girls enjoyed the galloping while us blokes looked on in awe but stil we had a laugh. It was very hot today, have even more of a "wetsuit tan".

6th December

Yes, showers were good despite the women moaning there were frogs in theirs. Ha ha. Today was great in the truck as we had covered about 700km the day before. We had a lateish breakfast for which we just did cereal and toast. This is now the last meal I have to cook for the gang. Happy days.

We stopped off at a cash and carry to buy water, dry provisions etc. I bought some maté, a wine glass (so I don't have to drink out of a metal cup) some turrón to dish out to the gang before I leave and obviosuly some Pringles.

Next stop - they town of Jesús Maria - a stone's throw from Córdoba. We will be staying on an estancia (ranch) for the next 3 nights so all the cook groups had to stockpile food on the truck. You have never seen so much stuff - milk, eggs, cheese, bread, meat, veg, fruit. All the lockers were jammed. As mentioned I have no more cooking to do so chilled in a cafe.

We had lunch in a park near the estancia - an old boy turned up and tried to tell us 2 blocks away was a better picnic spot but by then we were ready to eat. Andy and Tubbs "had a word" with Jitka who is now hiding from all food preparation and just turning up when the bell is rung. She is also getting on everyone's nerves generally.

I have now given up on the getting a wristband for each country I visit. Ecuador got washed away when I did laundry, Perú has now broken, Bolivia is still attached but I can't find one for Argentina.

The road to the estancia was as narrow as the gauge on the truck with sheer drops on one side. No one slept through for once. It was really hot as well and with the windows open we soon filled the cabin with leaves, twigs and occasionally the whole branch.

The estancia isn't how I imagined it. I actually thought it would look like Southfork but it was a lot hillier and rockier. We pitched our tents and then had a wine-tasting with our smarmy, arrogant host - Kevin. A British public-school educated, Argentinian born snob. Still his wine was ok. The guys cooked steaks on the BBQ. Unfortunately by the time it came to cooking my steak I was half-cut on the free stuff and dropped my steak into the ashes. Ever had gritted beef before?

We partied until the early hours, I met Kevin's helper, Carlos, who was altogether a much nicer bloke. He spoke no English so Shannon and I had to translate. I also convinced him that Shannon was indeed my sister. I fell asleep on a couch not suited for such an activity having chatted to Tina for about an hour on things I have no recollection of.

5th December

We left Cafayate at about 6 and headed on to our destination for the day - a rough camp on the road to Córdoba. A rough camp is where you pitch your tent off the road with no facilities - showers, toilets etc. On the schedule I am only to experience one of these. Let's see how it goes.

We drove, and drove and drove. Stopped off in a nameless village to buy food for dinner. We are cooking lunch, dinner and tomorrow's breakfast. There was torrential flooding in the village, and at 10 pounds for the fashion statements that are my walking boots from Arequipa I am guessing they are not made of GORE-TEX.

We bought cheese, ham, bread and other bits. Rob got the veg and Jackie ball-ached about the fact the shop-assistant (who was actually quite a decent bloke) cut the cheese with the same machine he cut the ham with and asked me to give him a bollocking in Spanish for it. In your dreams, honey.

With soaking feet we reboarded the truck and headed further south. Stopped off in a disused garage (we are so classy) and made sandwiches. Turned out ok, no grumbles. We drove and drove and drove again and the sun began to set. But the good news is we had driven so far we were practically at tomorrow's destination and we found a campsite so I won't have to dig and poo in a hole and fingers crossed should get a shower tomorrow.

Dinner wasn't bad. We made chicken stir fry for twenty-two. The rice was disastrous and had the consistency of semolina by the time they had finished with it. I julienned all the veg and have to say my effort for the meal was by far superior.

There was a little bar at the site, had one game of pool and don't think I potted a ball so when off to bed early.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

4th December

Up at 6, couldn't sleep. Tent smells like "sweaty chips". Breakfast was good. Fresh eggs and salty, smoky bacon - just what you need for a day's cycling. Breakfast was made all the more enjoyable by Jitka moaning about the fact that no one buys any fresh food and the butter contained additives - I took great delight in translating the packet (verbatim and in front of 5 others) and announcing that this brand specialises in natural, organic ingredients with nothing artificial added. Can't stand whingers.

Picked the bikes up at 9 and slowly made our way to the Etchart vineyard. I apologise if I am running our of adjectives and superlatives to describe the scenery but you do have to see it to believe it. Huge mountains, blue skies, green vines... Folks, if you are reading this you could do worse on your next trip than to sample the delights of Argy, without Bargy.

We had a very interesting tour of the vineyards, the factory and, obviously, the shop. The good wines were cheap (from 5 to 10 pounds) and the great wines about 15 pounds a bottle. Bought a bottle of Torróntes and Malbec for about 16 in total. The tasting was great fun if a little childish. More swallow than spit - always a good sign of quality.

We spend so long there our next stop was lunch. Back in the plaza, a plain toasted sandwich but was made complete by the brief dialogue I had with the waiter (W) in Spanish...

S: "Waiter, do you have any salsa de tomate?"
W: "Ugh?"
S: "Ketchup?"
W (laughing): "Ah, si, si, si. Benfica."

And that was that. No sauce or promises thereof, just a Portuguese football team as a reply.

After lunch we went to an ice cream shop. They blend wine with the cream to make something truly special. I didn't actually try it. The girls did and were enthusing. I redeemed myself on the Spanish front with the owner and just plumped for chocolate and vanilla. Nice though.

Next bodega was "La vasija secreta" - the guide was nice, but the wine sadly was lacking. We bought a bottle of white between 6. (Me, Shanon, Rob, Tina, Ed, Karen), it was ok, but the company was better. We drank in the shade which was nice, as it was about 30 degrees.

2 final stops - the Nanni Bodega (originally Italian) was ok - the photos were great but the wine samples stingy and not much cop. The last place, however, was really good - El Transito. La mosa was really helpful and knew her stuff. The decor, although a bit like an All Bar One, was relaxing and as a result we all bought more wine. This time I plumped for the Cab Sav. I have about 8 more days on the truck and 3 bottles to go - barring any BB mishaps all should be good.

Had to go for a walk after dinner - too many "chiefs" on the truck. It is like being back at Cofunds.

In other news Villa have got Man Utd in the Cup. Again! Second year running. Grrr.

3rd December

Our trip to the next destination, Cafayate, was short. We even had 2 photos stop-offs which to date on the trip have been few and far between in Bolivia and Argentina. The scenery outside Salta is every bit impressive as I have seen of late. "La garganta del Diablo" (Not the same "Devil's Throat" as Iguazú) is a huge red sandstone formation about 50km from Cafayate - well worth a climb and a shot.

We arrived in Cafayate about 2pm, pitched tents. Rob, my new best mate, was off buying food with today's cook group and I sidled off to the markets and cafés of the town. It is very chilled again here. A large square, restaurants, Artesan markets and not much else. Oh, apart from vines - hundreds of them. That is pretty much all there is to do in Cafayate - bodega visiting on mountain bike.

Went to chemist to buy some anti-bite cream a bt stronger than the calamine lotion they had already dished out to me. Here's how it went...

S: "Do you have cream for insect bites?"
Chemist (C): "Yes" (handing me calamine lotion)
S: "No I have ethat cream, do you have anything more effective"
C: "You could try using insect repellent beforehand"

Now there's a thought.

We booked bikes for tomorrow and then made a beef stew off the truck. Not bad, bit chewy but very tasty. Charlotte, if you are reading this your dinner contribution was by far the best and you should be a chef.

As regards Big Brother it was a fairly quiet day, no gossip or funny stories. We need wine - ooh, tomorrow!

Monday, December 3, 2007

2nd December

I am covered in bites. Literally, any part of me that wasn't covered up now contains a sand-fly bite. The ONLY day I haven't DEET'd as well. I have the hangover from Hell and it is not easy to sleep off the latter in a tent. I have no bite cream and generally feeling pretty sorry for myself. The only crumb of comfort is that EVERYONE is covered in bites.

Was grumpy all day and people kept commenting I wasn't myself. Also Rob is due shortly and we will no doubt need to rediscuss yesterday's events.

The highlight again was the lunch, the same as yesterday but still very good. I had one beer to try the "hair of the dog". It didn't work. Neither did Coke and ice-cream. Went back to bed in the afternoon and also turned it for good at 11pm. Did have the chat with Rob. Diplomacy rules. We are all friends again.

1st December

Breakfast started at 5 as we are now all going to Salta Rafting (sans Rob, who, if you remember has a hire car). He threw a wobbly first thing, an extension of last night and the fact we didn't get him up to help make breakfast (hmm). Anyway, we left he demanded money, yadda yadda.

We got to Salta Rafting - the girls seething, and me? - well, I just let it wash over me. I am on holiday, on this truck for another 10 days and then off to pastures new. As we hadn't got our name down for the rafting we kindly put up some of the tents and chilled for the morning. The beers here are big and cool and I made full use of the fridge. Hadn't put up a tent on my own since school but it was like riding a bike and about as comfortable. It was my first introduction to the Cicada - I know they were supposed to be loud but they sounded like aliens taking off. Have good photos. Ugly little buggers though. The site though is very laid back and relaxing and there are a load of nice dogs and cats.

The gang came back at lunchtime - and what a lunch it was. Huge bowls of salad, red meat, sausage, eggs, more beer. It is also nice not to be at altitude, breathing is easy and the pulse doesn't race. Drank all afternoon, during the meal and until I fell asleep at the table with a bottle between my legs. I'm not proud I drank so much, but am proud I didn't vomit.

30th November

A free day in Salta started with a free morning in bed. Woke up with the beer and meat sweats at about 12 and then we struggled by cab into town. The girls had arranged to meet Rob at 1 and Ian at 2 to go up the teleférico (cable car). Had a coke in a cafe but couldn't face food due to last night's over exertions (thank God there were no videos of that!). Bumped into Steve and Charlie again - forgot they had merntioned they were going to Salta, but this is their last stop and return to NZ tomorrow.

It transpires that Rob has suggested hiring a car and going to the cloud forest tomorrow - the truck goes to a white-water rafting and zip line campsite about 2 hours out of Salta. None of us were in a fit state to arrange anything and with the teleférico meeting looming Rob went off and said he was going to hire a car - for himself if no one could be bothered to come with him. Think it might have been a strop but I was too out of it to care.

Went to meet Ian but let them go up the cable car while I slept in the shade. Tried to find Argentinian pulsera but they have taken a leaf out of Perú's book and don't seem to make them. After an hour or so they came back and we went to Casa Noa - a huge dept store in the centre. The ladies reading this would be very impressed with the clothes shops and the gents would have been impressed with the ladies in the ladies' shops. The girls are cooking tonight so Ian and I helped them get the groceries.

We arrived back about 6 in a taxi which went so slowly uphill we thought it was bound to go backwards - like something out of a Tom and Jerry cartoon. Left the girls to cook and had another cheeky our on the bed. Rob came back at 7 and then the fireworks started...

"Day 6, 7.23pm...Rob had hired a car and has asked the tour leaders to borrow one tent...the girls and Steve take this as he is doing his own thing...fine...10.14pm Rob starts a rant with Shannon about how she is now not going to the cloudforest with him. Shannon remarks that it is he who has given the impression of doing his own thing. Steve meanwhile is questioning the BP reading at the doctors before he left. Rob slams door and goes off with some others on the beers. Steve and Tina console Shannon and Karen writes her blog."

...the only thing missing is nominations.

29th November

Well, that's Bolivia. Today we crossed over to Argentina again. I have been trying to eat reasonably healthily so I can hoover up more lomo de chorizo in the steak houses. The drive was about 10 hours but some of that was spent in immigration and changing Bolivianos into Pesos. All went smoothly apart from Jitka (she is the American I couldn't remember the name of) - she forgot to "emigrate" from Bolivia so there was no hope she was getting through.

It was fairly quiet on the truck until there was a huge bust up about the bar and should tee-totalers have to contribute to a tab if they don't drink...and people haven't been updating their tab...and no one is doing their tasks. Then the tears came and I waited poatiently for Marcus Bentley'a voice over. In short, Rob is now not the barman, Irish Connor is (is it wise putting a Paddy in charge of liquor?). I relieved the tension by suggesting playing a game, which we did. Seemed to do the trick.

Salta is much bigger than I thought it would be, looks very cosmopolitan and chic for South America (despite seeing the "Golden Arches"). It was also a nice change to see some blondes and tall women (I'm sure some of you can't believe I am writing this!).

We are also camping tonight and will be for the next 9 nights in 4 different places. However, on arrival at the site Rob, Shannon, Tina, Karen and I decided to upgrade to a cabin for 2 nights. Happy days.

We dumped our stuff and headed to Viejo Jacks - purported to be the place you can cut steak with a spoon it is so tender. I started with a litre of Quilmes, followed by Lomo De Chorizo (A punto), ensalada mixta and purée de papas - which is medium rare rump steak, salad and mash to you lot. The steak was enormous, obviously, and I had to unbutton, unbelt and at one point, "unload", to finish it. All was washed down with a Mendozan Malbec for 2 pounds. Total bill was about 10 quid.

Went on a bar crawl in Salta - which is very reminiscent of Palermo Soho in BA. Back on the Cuba Libres and we drank until 5.30am and then chatted back at the campsite until 8. Who was cooking breakfast? Us. So glad we forked out for a cabin. The girls helped and I think we did an OK job.

28th November

Q: So what do you do in Tupiza for the day?
A: A triathlon.

Not quite what you are thinking. This is a bit more tranquilo. A 12km bike ride, a jeep ride and then a 3 hour horse ride after lunch followed by a cycle back. My bike was rubbish. It had no suspension and on the rocky terrain of Tupiza was pretty useless. I was out of the saddle for most of it which is difficult when one has a hangover. Nevertheless, the rides through the tunnels and the fresh air was all good.

Our 4x4 ride took us to a river where we had a picnic. I think I have got over the new boys status since last night and now seem to be getting on with most on the tour. We had tamale, rolls and (very) orange pop. Just got my head down for a kip when our drivers beckoned us forward to the stables. Horsey-time.

(People keep asking me if I can ride. The answer is a resounding "No" but I am enjoying it and I don't think I look stupid on 4 legs).

My horse was very young and very bad tempered and kept trying to eat anything that came up alongside but the guide assured me he was "dulce". We treked for about an hour and a half in proper cowboy country. Red dust, cacti, animal skeletons, tumbleweed and high cliffs. All that was missing was Lorne Greene and you had Bonanza. I then changed horses as all the girls, who were had a lot more experience than us Gauchos, went off galloping. I went on an old nag with one eye and sighed (literally) every time I tried to get it to shift.

We got back to the 4x4s after about two and a half hours and went on a drive up the mountain ot have a full view of the valley. So many different colours and rock structures made taking one panoramic view difficult.

Declined the bike ride back to the hotel as it was too steep for an old bike with no suspension so I stayed in our truck and chatted to Shannon on the way down. We picked up some other stragglers on the way back and got in about 6. I was humbled by Derek and Cherry who are both over 65 - Cherry neither had suspension nor gears. Hmm.

Had a v early diner with Andy the tour leader, one beer and then bed. Oh yeah, it transpires the girls videod the karaoke and it being shown to all the truck as I type. I did an "arse wiggle" to one song. That too is on camera.

Saturday, December 1, 2007

27th November

Today we went off to Tupiza on the Bolivian Altiplano. Took about 9 hours but the countryside near the town was like the canyons in the States (indeed, Tupiza is where Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid spent their last days). My memory cards are really taking a hammering. Everywhere you look there is a photo opportunity.

We arrived about 4 and immediately engrossed ourselves in the culture. "Cuba Libre by the pool". My God, if there is one thing I have done this holiday it is to liberate Cuba. We got through 4 bottles of Havana Club and then started on the Cusqueña beers.

The next few hours were a bit of a blur but i do remember gate-crashing a dinner with Shannon, Karen and Tina and then going to another dinner with some others and eating someone else's pizza.

The first real time I have got to "bond with the BB house" - alcohol has that effect. Shannon asked me where I grew up etc. Explained the Birmingham thing, explained the Welsh parentage, she asked me if I knew any Welsh. Sung the anthem. She was gobsmacked and this provoked a rather strange reaction....

... ended up in a Karaoke bar and the 4 of us butchered many a classic until the small hours but had a tremendous time. Another great night out on tour. Dan, sadly no Busted, so the Beatles/"Footloose" and an improptu "Born to be Wild" rocked the bar to the foundations - I even think I helped one of the locals finish some rubbish Bolivian chant at one point just to get the microphone back.

We got back about 2ish. A belter of a night, have to say the girls on tour are a right laugh.

In other news, Andy the tour guide put himself to bed at 9pm after serious rum-abuse. Tubbs was last seen buying very dubious local art at 2am and Connor had to climb in through his window as his key had gone AWOL - again some bloke called "ron" being the culprit.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

26th November

Today will be a bit more cheery. Not so for Ed who was up all night being ill. I wasn't in great shape. We both blamed the pizza.

We are in Uyuni, a pretty unamazing town with the exception of the most famous and photographed salt flats in the world. First, we visited "the railway graveyard" - surreal on a word. Locomotives, scrap metal, track all left to rust. Took some great sepia photos though.

Our next stop in the 4x4 was a salf factory on the ouskirts of the flats. A bit of a Gringo trap. Some of the guys bought salt shakers made of salt, ashtrays etc etc. The rival tour company to Exodus, Budget Travel, were also there. They are all kids and from what I can tell it is more of a "swinging" mode of transport than ours!

30 mins later we were on the salt flats. We had lunch (chicken, salad, spuds) and then we did what all juvenile tourists do at Uyuni - took silly photos of people coming out of wine bottle, or being eaten by 6 inch high dinosaurs. Let me explain, because the salt flats are, well, white and flat it is really easy to take photos that make the images in the foreground defy perspective and make the image in the background look tiny in comparison. I have added a shot to demonstrate. Also bumped into Steve and Charlie from the Inca Trail and formerly New Zealand. His "travel beard" is looking very impressive. I might grow one! They are camping out on the flats tomorrow and then heading to Buenos Aires.

The sun was baking hot and just like in the snow when you took your sunglasses off it was dazzling. We then made our way to the "salt hotel", again very surreal. Everything made of salt including the beds. Wouldn't want to fall out of that one. We had beer and chocolate and then played one touch football for an hour or so until the sun went down. The sunset was actually disappointing, the previous night's was much better.

We drove back to the town, had more pizza, and cookies and ice cream and discussed places to go in New York.

The salt flats were amazing, something I always wanted to visit since we covered it in Geography in school.